Hesperus; or, Forty-Five Dog-Post-Days: A Biography. Vol. I.Jean Paul
General
Hesperus; or, Forty-Five Dog-Post-Days: A Biography. Vol. I.
Jean Paul
Fiction
"See," said he, "I believe thee always: say, dost thou never do
anything against me?"
"Never, never, my dear fellow!" answered Victor.
"Now, then, forgive my heat," the other continued. "Thus have I
already, with my cursed jealousy, once tormented Clotilda herself in
Maienthal. But wrong not Matthieu; it is he, rather, who tranquillized
me. He told me, to be sure, what Clotilda's parents thought they
observed; nay, still more,--see, I tell thee everything,--he said they
had even, on account of thy presumed liking and thy present influence,
which the Chamberlain would fain avail himself of for his
reinstatement, spoken of a possible betrothal to their daughter, and
had even spoken to her and sounded her on the subject; but (to thee,
however, this is a matter of indifference) my beloved remained true to
me, and said, No."
Now was the hitherto so happy heart of our friend broken: that hard No
had never yet been uttered to him. With an inexpressible, crushing, but
meek woe, he said, softly, to Flamin,--
"Be thou, too, always true to me, for I have very little; and never
torment me more as thou hast to-day."
He could say no more; the stifled tears stormed surging up over his
heart, and painfully collected themselves under the pupil; he must
needs now have a still, dark place, where he could weep to his heart's
content; and in his lacerated and smarting bosom there remained only
one soft and balmy thought: "Now, in the night, I can weep as much as I
will, and no one can see my shattered face, my shattered soul, my
shattered fortune."
And when he thought, "Ah, Emanuel, if thou shouldst see me as I am
to-day!" he could hardly any longer contain himself.
He fled, with suppressed tears, unconcerned who saw it or did not see
it, out of the garden, over which a dark angel let float a great
funereal banner and the music of a dirge. He bruised himself against
a stone garden-roller which was used to crush the _sprinkled_
grass-blades and _flowerets_,--he wept not yet, but on the observatory
there would he satisfy himself and steep himself in abundant
sorrow,--he kept repeating, "But she remained true, and said, No, no,
no!"--the concert-tones glided after, like fire after the conjurer,--he
waded through moist, slumbering lawns, which concealed their flowers,
and, swifter than he, swept over the earth the shadowy outlines of the
clouds overhead chased by the wind,--he stood at the foot of the
observatory, still held back every tear, and hurried up,--he threw
himself on the bench where he had seen Clotilda for the first time afar
off, in a white dress,--"Rest thou, too, Horion!" she had called to
him out of his dream from under the flowery hill, and he heard it
again.----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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