The more Hetty thought over her plan, the simpler and more feasible it
appeared. More and more she concentrated all her energies on the
perfecting of every detail: she left nothing unthought of, either in her
arrangements for her own future, or in her arrangements for those she
left behind. Her will had been made for many years, leaving unreservedly
to her husband the whole estate of "Gunn's," and also all her other
property, except a legacy to Jim and Sally, and a few thousand dollars
to old Caesar and Nan. Hetty was singularly alone in the world. She had
no kindred to whom she felt that she owed a legacy. As she looked
forward to her own departure, she thought with great satisfaction of the
wealth which would now be her husband's. "He will sell the farm, no
doubt,--it isn't likely that he will care to live on here; and when he
has it all in money he can go to Europe, as he has so often said he
would," she said to herself, still, as ever, planning for her husband's
enjoyment.
As the autumn drew near, she went oftener with Raby to row on the Lake.
A spell seemed to draw her to the spot. She continually lived over, in
her mind, all the steps she must take when the time came. She rowed
slowly back and forth past the opening of the Springton road, and
fancied her own figure walking alone up that bank for the last time.
Several times she left Raby in the boat, and walked as far as the
Fairfield guide-post, and returned. At last she had rehearsed the
terrible drama so many times that it almost seemed to her as if it had
already happened, and she found it strange to be in her own house with
her husband and Jim and Sally and her servants. Already she began to
feel herself dissevered from them. When every thing was ready, she
shrank from taking the final step. Three times she went with Raby to the
Lake, having determined within herself not to return; but her courage
failed her, and she found a ready excuse for deferring all until the
next day. She had forgotten some little thing, or the weather looked
threatening; and the last time she went back, it was simply to kiss her
husband again. "One day more or less cannot make any difference," she
said to herself. "I will kiss Eben once more." Oh, what a terrible thing
is this barrier of flesh, which separates soul from soul, even in the
closest relation! Our nearest and dearest friend, sitting so near that
we can hear his every breath, can see if his blood runs by a single
pulse-beat faster to his cheek, may yet be thinking thoughts which, if
we could read them, would break our hearts. When the time came in which
Eben Williams tried to recall the last moments in which he had seen his
wife, all he could recollect was that she kissed him several times with
more than usual affection. At the time he had hardly noted it: he was
just setting off to see a patient, and Raby was urging Hetty to make
haste; and their good-byes had been hurried.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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