Hey Rub-a-dub-dub: A Book of the Mystery and Wonder and Terror of LifeDreiser, Theodore
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Hey Rub-a-dub-dub: A Book of the Mystery and Wonder and Terror of Life
Dreiser, Theodore
American essays -- 20th century
(_Sinking into his pillows and peacefully closing his eyes._) Quite so!
Quite so! We need that knowledge to sustain us in our present ease. It
is so comforting! As I often say, what would we do without our dear
Questions? (_He falls asleep. Seven Dizzards and seven Hoddy-Doddys club
and feather him. He resumes._) And now for--ah yes!--let me
see--Question--Question (_various Dizzards gather about him and
point_)--Ah, yes! Seven--Question Seven! (_Ecstatically._) Let me read
this to you, this beautiful Question, the answer to which, as I so often
say, reassures us all so much, keeps us all so sweet and content,
always. (_Raises one hand._) “All is well with the world, is it not? We
know that, do we not? It is, is it not?” Come now, all together--One,
Two, Three----
THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DIVISIONS
Yea ho! Yea ho! Yea, Bo! Yea, Bo!
A truer thing we do not know!
(_They fall to the ground and roll rapturously to and fro._)
NOXUS PODUNKUS
(_As wave on wave of applause sweeps over the pavilion and bags out the
sides and top, leaning forward and opening one eye._) ’Tis beautifully
said! Beautifully said! A perfect answer to a perfect Question! A
wonderful testimony to the ever upwardness and onwardness of things! It
is almost more than one could hope for--than any one _can_ hope for! And
now, my dears and dearesses, comes Question--(_looks at the tablet while
all the Dizzards lean and point_)--Question Eight, a very, very great
Question, a Question which, as I always say, has undoubtedly more than
any other Question brought us at last to this very perfect and peaceful
state, in which we rest as, I might say, a babe in its cradle, as
a--a--Souffle! (_he is fed_). Here it is: “How is it that we know that
God is on His Throne and all is well with the world? How is it?” Can’t
you see how important that is, how wonderful? Come now! We must have a
perfect and compelling answer to this! All together--One, Two, Three!
(_Leans forward expectantly, intently._)
THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DIVISIONS
Our hearts, our hearts, they tell us so--
What is it that our hearts don’t know!
(_Each places a hand over his heart._)
NOXUS PODUNKUS
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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