(_Leaping up and cracking his heels nine times before descending._) Your Referendunces! Your Referendunces! We have here the only living Descendant Sons and Daughters of Ancient and Honorable American Anti-White Slavers--the organization which in its day gave rise--laid the foundation, as it were, of our present great and perfect World Federation, over which at present your Referendunces are so ably presiding. It claims to be the only existing organization that preserves in all their purity the customs, manners and instincts of the original pre-Federated Anti-White-Slavers of seven and eight centuries since. I beg of your Referendunces--I beg of you!--on this very special occasion--I know you are tired--Will your Referendunces be pleased to receive them? (_He runs swiftly around in a ring and falls over three extended feather-dusters. NOXUS PODUNKUS groans. The Moonshees moan._) THE ONE HUNDRED ZANYS (_Dancing on before them and rattling their wind-bags._) The Anti-White-Slavers! The Anti-White-Slavers! Look! Behold! THE FIFTY DIZZARDS (_Beating the Moonshees with feather-clubs and whistling between their teeth._) Awake! Awake! (_The Moonshees stir feebly and call for souffle. By the aid of a dozen gallons of ice-water_ NOXUS PODUNKUS _is once more aroused and now surveys the approaching procession, which marches about the arena and back to the Musnud._) NOXUS PODUNKUS (_Scratching his left ear and surveying the assembled throng._) What--more? Oh! Well, welcome, noble citizens! Welcome! I see by your brows that you possess the unconquerable love of Liberty, Virtue, Truth, Justice, Beauty, etc., so necessary to the happy maintenance of our present Federated condition. (_He collapses and more souffle is administered. Recovering._) Stick to it! What supreme comfort it must be to you and your exceedingly courageous ancestors to know that our very happy present condition is almost entirely due to them--their noble deeds of valor performed in order that we might become so--so--(_he coughs_). What supreme deeds would not you now, I am sure (_they brandish their battleaxes_) gladly perform were it not that fortunately all provocation had long since been done away with. (_Loud cheering. All the Nizys, Zanys, Hoddy-Doddys, etc., walk on their hands._) Night after night in the wilds of the great cities of those far-off centuries, now so happily past, did your forefathers fearlessly and tirelessly seek out the enslavers of resisting and lovely womanhood and battle to the death with those who would have corrupted our worthy sires--I mean siresses--Souffle!--(_he imbibes_)--performing astounding and now almost unbelievable feats of valor, felling the vile and rapacious enslaver to the plain and chopping him to bits, leaving us, their humble descendants, little if anything to do save revere and historically represent the marvels which they then performed. (_Immense and prolonged cheering. Eight thousand wireless messages are sent forth._) Literature,