Still farther encouraged by this exhibition of feeling, Mr. Goodwin went
on. He told her that it behooved her, who was a motherless girl, to be
even more circumspect than others, lest, through very ignorance, she
might err; and in particular he warned her against riding or walking out
alone, or indulging in any freedom of manners that might draw upon her
the animadversions of their very strict community.
"Oh, sir, I know I have been very indiscreet, and I am very miserable,"
said Capitola, in a heart-broken voice.
"My dear child, your errors have hitherto been those of ignorance only,
and I am very much pleased to find how much your good uncle has been
mistaken, and how ready you are to do strictly right when the way is
pointed out," said the minister, pleased to his honest heart's core that
he had made this deep impression.
A heavy sigh burst from the bosom of Capitola.
"What is the matter, my dear child?" he said, kindly.
"Oh, sir, if I had only known you before!" exclaimed Capitola, bitterly.
"Why, my dear? I can do just as much good now."
"Oh, no, sir; it is too late; it is too late!"
"It is never to late to do well."
"Oh, yes, sir; it is for me! Oh, how I wish I had had your good counsel
before; it would have saved me from so much trouble."
"My dear child, you make me seriously uneasy; do explain yourself," said
the old pastor, drawing his chair closer to hers and trying to get a
look at the distressed little face that was bowed down upon her hands
and veiled with her hair; "do tell me, my dear, what is the matter."
"Oh, sir, I am afraid to tell you; you'd hate and despise me; you'd
never speak to me again," said Capitola, keeping her face concealed.
"My dear child," said the minister, very gravely and sorrowfully,
"whatever your offense has been, and you make me fear that it has been a
very serious one, I invite you to confide it to me, and, having done so,
I promise, however I may mourn the sin, not to 'hate,' or 'despise,' or
forsake the sinner. Come, confide in me."
"Oh, sir, I daren't! indeed I daren't!" moaned Capitola.
"My poor girl!" said the minister, "if I am to do you any good it is
absolutely necessary that you make me your confidant."
"Oh, sir, I have been a very wicked girl; I daren't tell you how wicked
I have been!"
"Does your good uncle know or suspect this wrongdoing of yours?"
"Uncle! Oh, no, sir! He'd turn me out of doors! He'd kill me! Indeed he
would, sir! Please don't tell him!"
"You forget, my child, that I do not yet know the nature of your
offense," said the minister, in a state of painful anxiety.
"But I am going to inform you, sir; and oh! I hope you will take pity on
me and tell me what to do; for though I dread to speak, I can't keep it
on my conscience any longer, it is such a heavy weight on my breast!"
"Sin always is, my poor girl," said the pastor, with a deep moan.
"But, sir, you know I had no mother, as you said yourself."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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