High Life in New York: A series of letters to Mr. Zephariah Slick, Justice of the Peace, and Deacon of the church over to Weathersfield in the state of ConnecticutStephens, Ann S. (Ann Sophia)
General
High Life in New York: A series of letters to Mr. Zephariah Slick, Justice of the Peace, and Deacon of the church over to Weathersfield in the state of Connecticut
Stephens, Ann S. (Ann Sophia)
New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century
"Wal, Jonathan," says the captin, a folding his arms close up to the red
shirt that kivered his bosom, "there aint but one way of accounting for
it. I never would a believed it, but you've deginerated. These Yorkers
have larned you to be ashamed of eating onions--it's jest arter dinner
time--I see through it all--you've been a thinking of hum, and tried a
raw onion for once--your eyes aint used to it now, and that's what makes
'em so red and misty. I have seen the time, Jonathan Slick, when you
could cut up a hull peck without winking; I've seen you cronch one like
a meller apple; and now, arter living in York, this is the eend on't."
"Come, captin," sez I, a holding out my hand, "don't make a coot of
yourself, I can eat a raw onion without winking as well as ever I could.
Seeing as you can peak so consarned far into a mill-stun, I may as well
own up and settle the hash to once. I've been kinder peaked and hum-sick
ever since spring opened. I sot down here all alone, got a thinking of
old times and things to hum, and that sort of made me cry afore I knew
it; that's the hull truth, and I'd jest as livs you knew it as not."
Captin Doolittle, he gin my hand a grip, and sez he, "That's right,
Jonathan, own up like a man, I see intu it now--hum-sick as git
out--just what I wanted. The old sloop is ready to sail right off--pack
up your saddle-bags, jump aboard, and we'll be in Weathersfield in less
than no time. Your par and mar, and Judy White, and all the folks tu hum
will be tickled eenamost tu death to see you."
I felt my heart jump right intu my mouth, but it sunk agin like a chunk
of lead when I thought that I'd eenajest agreed to go tu Washington.
"Captin," sez I, "I'm afeared I can't go--I've nigh about promised to go
tu Washington City."
"Washington City be darned," sez he, a going intu my back room and a
lugging out my saddle-bags; "Washington City can't hold a candle tu
Weathersfield this time of the year. You can't think how fresh and green
everything looks; the square before the meeting-house is as green as
grass can be--the laylock trees in front of the humstead are all in full
blow--we've had young lettuce and pepper-grass there these three
weeks--think of that! with good sharp vinegar, plenty of pepper and
salt, and a sprinkle of young onion-tops mixed in jest as they come from
the patch by the eend of the barn,--Gosh, but don't it make your mouth
water only to think on it, Jonathan."
"I swow, captin, there's no standing it, I must go."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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