High Life in New York: A series of letters to Mr. Zephariah Slick, Justice of the Peace, and Deacon of the church over to Weathersfield in the state of ConnecticutStephens, Ann S. (Ann Sophia)
General
High Life in New York: A series of letters to Mr. Zephariah Slick, Justice of the Peace, and Deacon of the church over to Weathersfield in the state of Connecticut
Stephens, Ann S. (Ann Sophia)
New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century
Miss Sneers she put her hand on my arm, jest so as tu let the tip eend
of her leetle finger lie agin my wrist. I swore it made the blood tingle
up my arm. We went intu the room with the rest a follerin arter, Indian
file. A great strappin nigger stood at each side of the door-place, when
we went, with white gloves on, and towels in their hands--they bowed
a'most tu the carpet as we went by, and when we sot down, then they
stood right up on eend behind our chairs, like militia trainers jist
tryin tu drill. They lifted up the kivers from a lot of dishes, and up
riz the steam among the glasses and silver, till it seemed as if they
hung in a cloud. Oh gracious, I can't begin to tell you all that them
dishes had in 'em. There was leetle teinty tonty birds cooked hull,
claws and all--partridges with their stomachs stuffed till they looked
as pussey as cousin Jasin--squirrels a lyin there like human babies jest
baked over a trifle, and all sorts of wild varmints that a feller ever
thought of killin.
The niggers they dodged about, fillin plates and a handin 'em round like
lightnin. They gin Miss Sneers and I each on us a leetle bird--darn me
if I know what it was, without it was a woodpecker stewed hull. It raly
seemed tu be a shame tu stick a fork intu the teinty varmint. I kinder
diddled my knife and fork about, till Miss Sneers got purty intimate
with her bird, for I wanted tu see if it was the fashion tu swaller 'em
down in'ards and all. She'd used her little chap purty well up, when I
sot my jaws a workin in arnest. The bird went down my throat the
quickest. It was awful sweet tastin; and the leg bones scratched a
trifle as they went down, but nothin tu speak on.
Wal, we laid into the squirrels and other wild critters rather hard,
till I begun tu feel a dry. There was a leetle bottle of water stood
agin each plate. I poured some out of mine, and was a goin tu drink, but
Miss Sneers, she laid her hand on the glass, and sez she--
"Mr. Slick, let me help you tu wine?"
"Not as you know on," sez I, a bowin, and a takin the tumbler from under
her hand--"I'm a teetotaler, marm, tu the back bone!"
"Oh, I'd forgot," sez she, a lookin at her brother. He took up a bottle
with leetle chunks of sheet lead a stickin tu the neck, and sez he--
"You will not refuse a glass of this cider, Mr. Slick--there's no
alcohol in this, I can tell you."
I was jest a goin tu say no, but Miss Sneers, she held out her glass,
and all the time that cider was a gurglin out of the bottle and a sendin
up sparkles in her glass, she kept them smilin eyes a pourin their
brightness right intu mine. When the glass was full, she touched it tu
her mouth, and gin a leetle sip, jest enough tu make them pesky lips
look a trifle damp, and redder than ever, and sez she, a reachin the
glass towards me--
"You must drink this, Mr. Slick."
I felt the blood bile intur my face agin. I kinder part reached out my
hand--then I pulled it back, and sez I--
"I've signed the pledge."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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