Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; Staffordshire (England) -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
He stepped aside, in the direction of the window, and examined curiously
the surface of the glass, as though in search of a concealed message
which it might contain. In a new and much more animated voice he said to
the window:
"Of course I know it's all my fault!"
Hilda glanced up at his back; he was still not more than three feet away
from her.
"How is it your fault?" she asked, after a pause.
He made another pause.
"The way I look at you," he said.
These apparently simple words made Hilda tremble, and deprived her of
speech. They shifted the conversation to another plane. 'The way I look
at you! The way I look at you!' What did he mean? How did he look at
her? She could not imagine what he was driving at! Yes, she could! She
knew quite well. All the time, while pretending to herself not to
understand, she understood. It was staggering, but she perfectly
understood. He had looked at her 'like that' on the very first day of
their acquaintance, in his office at Turnhill, and again at the house in
Lessways Street, and again in the newspaper office, and on other
occasions, and again on the night of their arrival at Brighton. But
surely not lately! Or did he look at her 'like that' behind her back?
Was it possible that people noticed it?... Absurd! His explanation of
the origin of the gossip did not convince her. She had, however,
suddenly lost interest in the origin of the gossip. She was entirely
occupied with George Cannon's tone, and his calm, audacious reference to
a phenomenon which had hitherto seemed to her to be far beyond the
region of words.
She was frightened. She was like some one walking secure in the night,
who is stopped by the sound of rushing water and stands with all his
senses astrain, afraid to move a step farther, too absorbed and
intimidated to be aware of astonishment. The point was not whether or
not she had known or guessed the existence of this unseen and formidable
river; the point was that she was thrillingly on its brink, in the dark.
Every instant she heard its swelling current plainer and plainer. She
thought: "Am I lost? How strange that this awful and exquisite thing
should happen to just me!" She was quite fatalistic.
He turned his head suddenly and caught her guilty eyes for an instant
before she could lower them.
"You don't mean to say you don't know what I mean?" he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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