Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; Staffordshire (England) -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"Your name's got to be Cannon," she heard him say.
She thought, still waiting: "If this goes on a moment longer I shall die
of anticipation, in bliss." And when she felt his hand on her shoulder,
and the great shadow of him on part of her face, her body seemed to
sigh, acquiescent and for the moment assuaged: "This is a miracle, and
life is miraculous!" She acknowledged that she had lacked faith in life.
She was now on the river, whirling. But at the same time she was in the
small, hot room, and both George Cannon's hands were on her unresisting
shoulders; and then they were round her, and she felt his physical
nearness, the texture of his coat and of his skin; she could see in a
mist the separate hairs of his tremendous moustache and the colours
swimming in his eyes; her nostrils expanded in transient alarm to a
faint, exciting masculine odour. She was disconcerted, if not
panic-struck, by the violence of his first kiss; but her consternation
was delectable to her.
And amid her fright and her joy, and the wonder of her extreme surprise,
and the preoccupation of being whirled down the river, she calmly
reflected, somewhere in her brain: "The door is not locked. Supposing
some one were to come in and see us!" And she reflected also, in an
ecstasy of relief: "My life will be quite simple, now. I shall have
nothing to worry about. And I can help him." For during a year past she
had never ceased to ask herself what she must do to arrange her life;
her conscience had never ceased to tell her that she ought not to be
content to remain in the narrow ideas of her mother, and that though she
preferred marriage she ought to act independently of the hope of it.
Throughout her long stay in Preston Street she had continually said:
"After this--what? This cannot last for ever. When it comes to an end
what am I to do to satisfy my conscience?" And she had thought vaguely
of magnificent activities and purposes--she knew not what.... The
problem existed no more. Her life was arranged. And now, far more
sincerely than in the King's Road twenty minutes earlier, she regarded
the career of a spinster with horror and with scorn. At best, she
suddenly perceived with blinding clearness, it would have been
pitiful--pitiful! Twenty minutes earlier, in the King's Road, she had
dreamt of belonging absolutely to some man, of being at his disposal, of
being under his might, of being helpless before him. And now!... Miracle
thrice miraculous! Miracle unconceived, inconceivable!... No more 'talk'
now!...
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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