Hildebrand; or, The Days of Queen Elizabeth, An Historic Romance, Vol. 3 of 3Anonymous
History
Hildebrand; or, The Days of Queen Elizabeth, An Historic Romance, Vol. 3 of 3
Anonymous
Great Britain -- History -- Elizabeth, 1558-1603 -- Fiction
but, after a time, it was not only the upbraidings of an accusing
conscience, but the bitter reflection that he had utterly ruined
his fortunes, that he had to contend with. When the shock
arising from the death of Inez had somewhat subsided, he could
see in his connexion with that lady, on mature consideration,
many particulars calculated to soothe him, and to assuage that
remorse which he had sustained originally. But as this feeling
became less acute, the tender passion he entertained for Evaline,
and which it had for a time overwhelmed, gradually revived, and
tormented him with a flood of other reproaches. It never once
occurred to him that he should conceal his connexion with Inez
from Evaline. On the contrary, he felt a sort of melancholy
pleasure, if the term may be used, in resolving to disclose it to
her. But that it would utterly ruin his reputation with Evaline,
and be fatal to their attachment, he felt assured. Life appeared
like a dream to him as he thought so. His peace was gone; all his
prospects of happiness were blasted; and, in his course onward,
he would move through the world, and its busy and ever varying
accidents, like a mere machine--without choice, enjoyment, or
animation.
It was morning before he arrived in the metropolis. He stayed
at the inn at which he first arrived, in Aldgate, merely to
take some slight refreshment, and recruit his toilet; and then
repaired to the office of the Lord Admiral. That personage, to
whom he readily acquired access, received him cordially, and
heard his report of his recent expedition with the greatest
satisfaction. After complimenting him on his gallantry, he
directed him to remain in London, at the lodging he had engaged,
for a few days more, when he would send him orders for further
service. Hildebrand briefly assented, and then, with many thanks
for his favourable opinion, took leave of the Admiral, and
returned to his inn.
Reflecting how he should proceed, he determined to communicate
with Evaline, in reference to his acquaintance with Inez, through
the medium of Bernard Gray. He accordingly wrote to the latter,
informing him, at large, and without concealing one particular,
of the adventure which had first connected him with the ill-fated
Donna, and how she had become associated with him subsequently.
But while he took the whole blame of her imprudence on himself,
he failed not to set forth, fully and distinctly, that he was not
aware that she followed him in disguise, and that it was only in
her dying hour that he discovered she was not the person he had
represented her to be. He desired Bernard personally to explain
these particulars to Evaline, and, at the same time, to release
her, in his name, from the engagement she had contracted with
him, and urge her to seek one more deserving of her inestimable
worth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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