She tempted this man whose curiosity was aroused, accustomed as he was
to casual and easy love adventures. He foresaw danger, but there within
reach of his lips were experienced kisses, an ardent supplicant, a
proffered delight, full of burning promise. In a sort of anger, he
seized the woman who recalled all the past joys, uttered the well-known
cries, and who suddenly, as in a nervous attack, deliriously plucked the
covering from her bosom, and bared with the boldness of beauty that
knows itself to be irresistible, her white arms, her brilliant,
untrammeled breasts, the sparkling splendor of her flesh, with her
golden hair unfastened, as she used to appear lying on a pillow of fair
silk, almost faint and between her kisses, that were as fierce as bites,
uttering: "I love you--you--I adore you--" And the lovely, imperious
girl again became, almost without a word having been exchanged, the
submissive woman carried away by lascivious ardor; and Guy, confused and
speechless, no longer reasoning, was unable to say whether Marianne
belonged to him, or he to the mistress of former days, become the
mistress of to-day.
He held her clasped to him, his hand raising her pale, languishing face
about which her fair hair fell loosely; to him she looked like one
asleep, her pink nostrils still dilating with a spasmodic movement, and
it seemed to him that he had just suffered from the perturbing contact
of a courtesan in the depths of some luxurious den.
It was an immediate reawakening, enervating but furious. She had given
herself impulsively. He recovered himself similarly. The sudden contact
of two bodies resulted in the immediate recoil of two beings.
With more bitter shame, he had had similar morose awakenings after a
dissipated night, his heart, his brave heart thumping against the
passionate form, often lean and sallow, of some satiated girl, fearfully
weary.
What cowardice! Was it Vaudrey's mistress or the future wife of Rosas
who had clung to his lips?
He felt disgusted at heart.
Yet she was adorable, this still young and lovely Marianne.
With cruel perspicacity, he already foresaw that he would be guilty of
cowardly conduct in yielding to this sudden weakness, and ashamed of
himself he disengaged himself from her hysterical embrace, while
Marianne squatted on his bed, throwing back her hair from her face,
still smiling as she looked at him and asked:
"Well--what? What is the matter with you, then?"
She rose slowly, slipping upon the carpet while he went to the window to
look mechanically into the yard. Between these two creatures but a
moment before clasped together, a sudden icy coldness sprung up as if
each had divined that the hour was about to sound, terrible as a knell,
when their affairs must be settled. The kisses of love are to be paid
for.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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