He continued to traverse the salons, always returning instinctively
toward the door at which Adrienne stood, with pale face and wandering
look, and scarcely hearing, poor woman, the unfamiliar names that the
usher uttered at equal intervals, like a speaking machine.
"Monsieur Durosoi!--Monsieur and Madame Brechet!--Monsieur the Minister
of Public Works!--Monsieur the Prefect of the Aube!--Monsieur the Count
de Grigny!--Monsieur Henri de Prangins!--Monsieur the General
d'Herbecourt!--Monsieur the Doctor Vilandry!--Monsieur and Madame
Tochard!"
She had vowed that she would be strong, and allow nothing to be seen of
the despair that was wringing her heart. She compelled herself to smile.
In nightmares and hours of feverish unrest, she had suffered the same
vague, morbid feeling that she now experienced. All that passed about
her seemed to be unreal. These white-cravatted men, these gaily-dressed
women, the file of guests saluting her at the same spot in the salon,
with the same expression of assumed respect and trite politeness,
appeared to her but a succession of phantoms. Neither a name nor an
association did she attach to those countenances that beamed on her with
an official smile or gravely assumed a correct seriousness. She felt
weary, overwhelmed and heavy-headed at the sight of this continued
procession of strangers on whom it was incumbent that she should smile
and to whom she must bow out of politeness, in virtue of that duty of
state which she wished to fulfil to the last degree, poor soul!
The distant music of Fahrbach's polkas or Strauss's waltzes seemed like
an added accompaniment that mocked the sadness of her unwholesome dream.
"And yet, in all that crowd of women who salute her, there are some who
are jealous of her! Many envy her!" thought Guy, who was looking on.
Adrienne did not look at Vaudrey. She was afraid that if her eyes met
her husband's fixed on her own, she would lose her sang-froid and
suddenly burst into sobs, there before the guests. That would have been
ridiculous. This blonde, so feebly gentle, isolated herself, therefore,
with surprising determination and seemed to see nothing save her own
thought, the unique thought: "Be strong. You shall weep at your ease
when you are alone, far away from these people, far away from this
crowd, alone with yourself, entirely alone, entirely alone!"
Vaudrey was very pale, but carried away, in spite of himself, by the joy
which he felt in receiving all the illustrious and powerful men of the
state, foreign ambassadors, the Presidents of the Senate and the
Chamber, the ministers, his colleagues, deputies, wealthy financiers,
renowned publicists, in fact, everything that counts and has a name in
Paris,--this minister, happy to see the crowd running to him, at his
house, bowing, paying homage to him, for a moment forgot the crushing
events of that day, the sudden thunderbolt falling on him and perhaps,
as he had said, crushing his hearthstone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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