She went out, and he allowed her to disappear, overwhelmed by this
living mourning of a faith. She fled and he allowed her to descend the
stairway, followed by her femme de chambre. She entered the carriage
that was waiting for her below, in Rue Chaussee-d'Antin, but he had not
the courage, hopeless as he was, to follow the carriage whose rumbling
he heard above the noise of the street as it rolled away more quickly
and more heavily than the others, and it seemed to him that its wheels
had crushed his bosom.
"Ah! what a wretch I have been!" he said as he struck his knee with his
closed fist. "How unhappy I am! Adrienne!"
He rose abruptly, as if moved by a spring, and bounded toward a window
which he threw wide open to admit the cold wind of this November
evening, and tried to distinguish among the many carriages that rolled
through the brownish mud, with their lighted lamps shining like so many
eyes, to discover, to imagine the carriage that was bearing Adrienne
away. He believed that he recognized it in a vehicle that was threading
its way, loaded with trunks, almost out of sight yonder.
He leaned upon the window-sill, and like a shipwrecked sailor who sees a
receding ship, he called out, with a loud cry lost in the tempest of
that bustling and busy street:
"Adrienne! Adrienne!"
No reply! The carriage had disappeared in the distance, in the fog.
For a moment, Sulpice remained there crushed but drawn by the noise of
the street, as if by some whirlpool in the deep sea. Had he been thrown
out and been dashed upon the pavements, he would have been happy. Only a
void seemed about him, and before him that black hollow in which moved
confusedly only strangers who in no way formed part of his life.
This isolation terrified him. At last, he went downstairs in haste,
threw himself into a carriage and had himself driven to the railway,
intending to see Adrienne again.
"Quickly! quickly! at your best speed!"
The driver whipped up his horses and the carriage-windows clattered with
the noise of old iron.
Vaudrey arrived too late. The train had left twenty minutes before. He
had reflected too long at his window.
"Besides," he said to himself sadly, "she would not have forgiven me!
She will never forget!"
Buried in the corner of the coach that took her away, and closing her
eyes, recalling all her past life, so cruelly ironical to-day, Adrienne,
disturbed by the noise and rolling of the train that increased her
feverish condition, felt her heart swell, and poor, broken creature
that she was, called all her strength to her aid to refrain from
weeping, from crying out in her grief. She was taking away, back to the
country, the half-withered Christmas roses received from Grenoble, and
in the morbid confusion of the ideas that clashed in her poor brain, she
saw once more Lissac's blanched face and heard Guy tell her again: "It
is because you are a virtuous woman that I love you!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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