British -- India -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
It seemed to her that in not having loved John Church while he lived nor
mourned him in sackcloth when he was dead she had sinned indeed. She was
in the midst of preparations that were almost bridal, yet it is quite
true that for this man whose death had wrought her deliverance and her
joy, her eyes were full of a tender, reverent regret. Presently she came
upon a letter which she put aside, with a pang, to be read last of all.
It was like Ancram, she thought, to have borne witness to her husband’s
worth—he could never have guessed that his letter would hurt her a
little one day. She noticed that it was fastened together with a
newspaper, by a narrow rubber circlet, and that the newspaper was marked
in red pencil. She remembered Ancram’s turn for journalism—he had
acknowledged many a clever article to her—and divined that this was some
tribute from his pen. The idea gave her a realising sense that her lover
shared her penance and was vaguely comforting.
She went through all the rest, as I have said, conscientiously,
seriously, and with a troubled heart. Philip Doyle had not been mistaken
in saying that they were sincere, and spontaneous. The tragedy of
Church’s death had brought out his motives in high relief; it was not
likely he could ever have lived to be so appreciated. These were
impressions of him struck off as it were in a white heat of feeling. His
widow sat for a moment silent before the revelation they made of him,
even to her.
Then, to leave nothing undone, Judith opened Ancram’s letter. Her
startled eyes went through it once without comprehending a line of its
sequence, though here and there words struck her in the face and made it
burn. She put her hand to her head to steady herself; she felt giddy,
and sickeningly unable to comprehend. She fastened her gaze upon the
page, seeing nothing, while her brain worked automatically about the
fact that she was the victim of some terribly untoward circumstance—what
and why it refused to discover for her. Presently things grew simpler
and clearer; she realised the direction from which the blow had come.
Her power to reason, to consider, to compare, came back to her; and she
caught up her misfortune eagerly, to minimise it. The lines of Ancram’s
hostility and contempt traced themselves again upon her mind, and this
time it quivered under their full significance. “Happily for Bengal,”
she read, “a fool is invariably dealt with according to his folly.” Then
she knew that no mollifying process of reasoning could alter the fact
which she had to face.
Her mind grew acute in its pain. She began to make deductions, she
looked at the date. The corroboration of the newspaper flashed upon her
instantly, and with it came a keen longing to tell her husband who had
written that article—he had wondered so often and so painfully. All at
once she found herself framing a charge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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