British -- India -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
“Yes,” Judith said, regarding him with a kind of remote curiosity. “You
have succeeded to his difficulties. I wonder if you lie awake over them,
as he used to do! And to all the rest. You have taken his place, and his
hopes, and the honours that would have been his. How strange it seems!”
“Why should it seem so strange, Judith?”
She half turned and picked up a letter and a newspaper that lay on the
table behind her.
“This is one reason,” she said, and handed them to him. “Those have
reached me to-day, by some mistake in Mr. Doyle’s office, I suppose. One
knows how these things happen in India. And I thought you might like to
have them again.”
Ancram’s face fell suddenly into the lines of office. He took the papers
into his long nervous hands in an accustomed way, and opened the pages
of the letter with a stroke of his finger and thumb which told of a
multitude of correspondence and a somewhat disregarding way of dealing
with it. His eyes were riveted upon Doyle’s red pencil marks under “_his
beard grows with the tale of his blunders_” in the letter and the
newspaper, but his expression merely noted them for future reference.
“Thanks,” he said presently, settling the papers together again.
“Perhaps it is as well that they should be in my possession. It was
thoughtful of you. In other hands they might be misunderstood.”
She looked at him full and clearly, and something behind her eyes
laughed at him.
“Oh, I think not!” she said. “Let me give you another cup of tea.”
“No more, thank you.” He drew his feet together in a preliminary
movement of departure, and then thought better of it.
“I hope you understand,” he said, “that in—in official life one may be
forced into hostile criticism occasionally, without the slightest
personal animus.” His voice was almost severe—it was as he were
compelled to reason with a subordinate in terms of reproof.
Judith smiled acquiescently.
“Oh, I am sure that must often be the case,” she said; and he knew that
she was beyond all argument of his. She had adopted the official
attitude; she was impersonal and complaisant and non-committal. Her
comment would reach him later, through the authorised channels of the
empty years. It would be silent and negative in its nature, the denial
of promotion, but he would understand. Even in a matter of sentiment the
official attitude had its decencies, its conveniences. He was vaguely
aware of them as he rose, with a little cough, and fell back into his
own.
Nevertheless it was with something like an inward groan that he
abandoned it, and tried, for a few lingering minutes, to remind her of
the man she had known in Calcutta.
“Judith,” he said desperately at the door, after she had bidden him a
cheerful farewell, “I once thought I had reason to believe that you
loved me.”
She was leaning rather heavily on the back of a chair. He had made only
a short visit, but he had spent five years of this woman’s life since he
arrived.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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