British -- India -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
She put his hand away with a touch that was a caress, but only said
irrelevantly, “And Rhoda Daye might have loved you honestly!”
“Ah, that threadbare old story!” He felt as if she had struck him, and
the feeling impelled him to ask her why she thought he deserved
punishment. “Not that it hurts,” Mr. Ancram added, almost resentfully.
She gave him a look of vague surprise, and then lapsed, refusing to make
the effort to understand, into the troubled depths of her own thought.
“Be a little kind, Judith. I only want a word.”
The south wind brought them a sound out of the darkness—the high, faint,
long-drawn sound of a cheer from the Maidan. She lifted her head and
listened intently, with apprehensive eyes. Then she rose unsteadily from
her seat, and, as he gave her his arm in silence, she stood for a moment
gathering up her strength, and waiting, it seemed, for the sound to come
again. Nothing reached them but the wilder, nearer wail of the jackals
in the streets.
“I must go home,” she said, in a voice that was quite steady; “I must
find my husband and go home.”
He would have held her back, but she walked resolutely, if somewhat
purposelessly, round the long curve of the verandah, and stood still,
looking at the light that streamed out of the ballroom and glistened on
the leaves of a range of palms and crotons in pots that made a seclusion
there.
“Then,” said Ancram, “I am to go on with the forlorn comfort of a guess.
I ought to be thankful, I suppose, that you can’t take that from me.
Perhaps you would,” he added bitterly, “if you could know how precious
it is.”
His words seemed to fix her in a half-formed resolve. Her hand slipped
out of his arm, and she took a step away from him toward the crotons.
Against their dark green leaves he saw, with some alarm, how white her
face was.
“Listen,” she said: “I think you do not realise it, but I know you are
hard and cruel. You ask me if I am not to you what I ought to be to my
husband, who is a good man, and who loves me, and trusts you. And, what
is worse, this has come up between us at a time when he is threatened
and troubled: on the very night when I meant—when I meant”—she stopped
to conquer the sob in her throat—“to have asked you to think of
something that might be done to help him. Well, but you ask me if I have
come to love you, and perhaps in a way you have a right to know; and the
truth is better, as you say. And I answer you that I have. I answer you
yes, it is true, and I know it will always be true. But from to-night
you will remember that every time I look into your face and touch your
hand I hurt my own honour and my husband’s, and—and you will not let me
see you often.”
As Ancram opened his lips to speak, the cheer from the Maidan smote the
air again, and this time it seemed nearer. Judith took his arm
nervously.
“What can they be doing out there?” she exclaimed. “Let us go—I must
find my husband—let us go!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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