His Majesty Baby and Some Common PeopleMaclaren, Ian
General
His Majesty Baby and Some Common People
Maclaren, Ian
Fiction; Short stories
EVERY country has its own sports, and Scotland has golf, but golf only
satisfies the lighter side of the Scots; the graver side of the Scot
finds its exercise in the prosecution of a heretic. Nothing so delights
this theological and argumentative people as a heresy hunt, and they
have no more ill-will to a heretic than sportsmen have to a fox. It
sometimes occurs to me that they dally with cases in order that they may
be prolonged, and that the sportsmen may have a good run after the
fox. I have even dared to think that they would be willing to preserve
heretics as foxes are preserved in hunting counties in order that they
might have a good time now and again. Every one throws himself into a
heresy case, from the highest to the lowest, from the Duke in his castle
to the shepherd on the hills, from the lawyer in his office to the
railway guard in his van. They all read about it and form their opinion,
and take sides and watch the event, and the issue of the case is a
national incident. From the conflict of wits, in which the hardest heads
have tried conclusions on the deepest subjects, the people return to
business shrewder than ever, more confident and self-satisfied.
We had missed the connexion, and the North train had gone fifteen
minutes ago, and how I was to reach the station of Pitrodie that night
was a question beyond solution. The station master could give no help,
and only suggested that I might sleep at the inn and take the morning
train, but in that case I would have been too late for the funeral to
which I was going. When he heard the nature of my errand he bestirred
himself with much more zeal, for, although a Scot may not facilitate
your journey for a marriage, which he regards as an event of very
doubtful utility, and associated with little geniality, he is always
ready to assist you to a funeral to which the heart of the Scotch people
goes out with pathetic interest.
“Would you mind travelling in the guard's van of a luggage train and ye
would be in fine time?”
On the contrary, I would be delighted, for I had never travelled in such
circumstances, and the guard's van would be a pleasant variety upon a
third-class carriage.
The guard received me with considerable cordiality and gave me his
seat in the van, which was decorated with pictures of kirks and eminent
divines. For a while he was engaged with various duties, shunting trucks
and making up his train, but after we had started and were out upon the
line he came and placed himself opposite.
“Now,” he said, “we've a run of twenty miles, and it's not likely we'll
be interrupted, for the rails are clear at this time of night, and we're
an express goods. I regard it,” he said, “as a providence that ye lost
yer train, for if I'd been asked what I would like this very nicht I
would ha said, 'Gie me a minister.'”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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