His Majesty Baby and Some Common PeopleMaclaren, Ian
General
His Majesty Baby and Some Common People
Maclaren, Ian
Fiction; Short stories
If the endless arguing of the Scot be wearisome to strangers and one
would guess is a burden to himself, yet it has its advantages. It has
been a discipline for the Scots mind, and the endless disputations on
doctrine and kirks as well as more trifling matters like history and
politics has toughened the Scots brain and brought it to a fine edge.
When I hear a successful Scot speak lightly of the Shorter Catechism,
then I am amazed and tempted to despise him, for it was by that means
that he was sent forth so acute and enterprising a man, and any fortune
he has made he owes to its training. He has been trained to think and
to reason, to separate what is true from what is false, to use the
principles of speech and test the subtlest meaning of words, and
therefore, if he be in business, he is a banker by preference, because
that is the science of commerce, and if he be an artizan, he becomes an
engineer because that is the most skilful trade, and as a doctor he is
spread all over the world. Wherever hard thinking and a determined will
tell in the world's work this self-reliant and uncompromising man is
sure to succeed, and if his mind has not the geniality and flexibility
of the English, if it secretly hates the English principle of
compromise, and suspects the English standard of commonsense, if it be
too unbending and even unreasonably logical, this only proves that no
one nation, not even the Scots, can possess the whole earth.
XVIII.--UPON THE LECTURE PLATFORM
THERE are four places where a man may lecture, exclusive of the open
air, which is reserved for political demonstrations and religious
meetings, and I arrange the four in order of demerit. The worst is,
beyond question, a church, because ecclesiastical architects have no
regard for acoustics, and a lecturer is apt to crack his voice yelling
into the corners of churches.
People come to a church, also, in a chastened mood, and sit as if they
were listening to a sermon, so that the unhappy lecturer receives little
encouragement of applause or laughter, and, if he happens to be himself
a clergyman, is hindered from doing anything to enliven the audience.
Besides, the minister of the church will feel it his duty to introduce
the leading members of his congregation after the lecture, and a
reception of this kind in the vestry is the last straw on a weary
lecturer's back. He cannot, however, refuse because he is a fellow
professional, and knows that his discourtesy may be set to the debit of
the minister. Next in badness is a public hall, because it is so bare
and cheerless, and on account of its size is difficult to fill with
an audience, and still more difficult with the voice. Drill halls,
especially, are heart-breaking places, because they are constructed
for the voices of commanding officers shouting “right wheel,” “march,”
“fire,” and such like martial exhortations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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