Marriage -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
The next afternoon she sat waiting for Joe. She had come home the night
before feeling so strong and sure of her course. But beginning at the
moment when she came into the empty apartment, subtly and by slow
degrees again her home had cast its spell, as though the rooms were
haunted. "I've got to lay the ghost," she thought. She had telephoned
to Joe to come, and he had replied abruptly, "All right, I'll be there
about four o'clock." It was just that now. Ethel poked the logs in the
fireplace until there was a cheerful blaze. As she straightened up she
caught sight of her face in the mirror over the mantel. Even in the
firelight how gaunt and strained it looked to her.
"Not very attractive," she grimly thought. "This has got to be done by
brains, my dear."
In a moment she heard Joe's key in the door. She heard him taking off
his coat and then coming slowly into the room. With an effort she
turned and looked at him. His face appeared even more tense and grey
than it had two days before; the nerves seemed quivering under the skin.
And she felt a pang of pity. "He wasn't to blame for the way he acted,
it was his wretched nerves," she thought. "He'll have a break-down
after this."
"Well, Ethel!"
"Oh, Joe, I'm so glad you're here." All at once she felt herself change.
She had meant to be so firm with him; but now, after one quick anxious
look, in a low eager voice she said, "I'm not going to talk much of
myself. It won't do any good--I'm sure it won't. I love you, Joe, and
I can see you still love me. We need each other. And if we can just be
sensible now--and you can only believe in me--"
"God knows I want to, Ethel!" His tone was low, but so sharp and tense
that she drew suddenly closer. He turned from her and sank into a
chair, with his hands for a moment pressed to his eyes. "I'm sick of
this--I'm not myself. Maybe I acted like a fool. . . . Some of that
stuff from Fanny Carr doesn't hold together--it's too thin." He looked
up at her. "But some of it does. And what you'll have to clear up now
is why you never let me know."
"The reason I didn't," she answered quickly, "goes way back into the
past. And it's not only about you and me--it's about--about somebody
else." She stopped and her throat contracted. She set her teeth. "We
must talk about Amy for a while."
There! At last she had brought it out! And she had seen her husband
flinch. For a moment both were silent.
"Why!" he asked. She swallowed hard.
"Because we never have before. We've--gone two years without speaking
her name. I had no idea how bad that might be." She broke off, for her
voice was trembling so. "I don't know how much you've learned in that
time--about Amy, I mean--but I've learned a lot, and--I think I'd better
tell you. I must, you see, or you won't understand what I've been doing
lately. I couldn't have explained before, without speaking of her--and
I didn't do that. But I should have, Joe, and I will now--if only
you'll be patient and let me do the talking."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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