desired no answer and shall have none.” When she came to the door I fell into great disorder; streams of tears flow’d down against my will and prevented my speaking for some time. At length I recovered myself and appealed to the Queen in the vehemence of my concern whether I might not still have been happy in her Majesty’s favour if I could have contradicted or dissembled my real opinion of men or things? whether I had ever, during our long friendship, told her one lie, or play’d the hypocrite once? whether I had offended in anything, unless in a very zealous pressing upon her that which I thought necessary for her service and security? I then said I was informed by a very reasonable and credible person about the court that things were laid to my charge of which I was wholly incapable; that this person knew that such stories were perpetually told to her Majesty to incense her, and had beg’d of me to come and vindicate myself: that the same person had thought me of late guilty of some omissions towards her Majesty, being entirely ignorant how uneasy to her my frequent attendance must be after what had happened between us. I explained some things which I had heard her Majesty had taken amiss of me, and then, with a fresh flood of tears and a concern sufficient to move compassion, even where all love was absent, I beg’d to know what other particulars she had heard of me, that I might not be denied all power of justifying myself. But the only return was, “You desired no answer and you shall have none.” I then beg’d to know if her Majesty would tell me some other time? “You desired no answer and you shall have none.” I then appealed to her Majesty again, if she did not herself know that I had often despised interest in comparison of serving her faithfully and doing right? And whether she did not know me to be of a temper incapable of disowning anything which I knew to be true? “You desired no answer and you shall have none.” This usage was so severe, and these words, so often repeated, were so shocking (being an utter denial of common justice to one who had been a most faithful servant, and now asked nothing more) that I could not conquer myself, but said the most disrespectful thing I ever spoke to the Queen in my life, and yet what such an occasion and such circumstances might well excuse if not justify, and that was, that “I was confident her Majesty would suffer for such an instance of inhumanity.” The Queen answered, “That will be to myself.” Thus ended this remarkable conversation, the last I ever had with her Majesty [the duchess adds].