About two o’clock one summer morning, all the fathers and brothers had
risen, and read or sung early mass in the chancel. Afterwards the Abbot
had gone into the garden in order to reflect. It was still dark, but the
stars shone between the olive and orange trees, and the flowers swayed
in the gentle breeze of the dawn.
The Abbot, a man of about fifty, strolled up and down in a covered
arbour-walk, and every time he reached the south end he remained
standing, in order to contemplate a marble tablet, erected by the side
of other tablets. It stood over his future grave, which was by the side
of the abbots who had already been buried. His name and the year of his
birth were engraved upon the marble, while a space was left for the date
of his death.
“O Lord, how long wilt Thou forget me?” he sighed, as he turned round
again. After he had thus continued walking till daybreak, he sat down
in an arbour, in order to write something in a book which he took out
of his pocket. The noise of awaking life in the city did not disturb
him--nothing disturbed the white-haired man of fifty who had already
been two hours on his legs without eating anything. Church bells rang,
carts rattled, and the rushing of the Tiber could be heard through all
other noises. But the old man continued to write, while his wrinkled
face was faintly lit up by the red of dawn. At last steps were heard on
the gravel-path; a novice entered the arbour, and placed a bowl of
bread and milk by the Abbot. The latter started, as though he had been
recalled from far away, and exclaimed, “Leave me in peace!” The novice
remained standing, frightened and troubled. Then a little bird, which
had been sitting in the arbour, struck up its song. The Abbot looked up,
his countenance cleared, he cast a glance on the bowl of milk which he
eagerly seized, and was in the act of raising it to his mouth, but, as
he noticed the youth’s troubled aspect, he stopped. “Forgive my anger,”
he said, “but I was far away. As a penance, I do this!”
He was about to pour the milk on the ground, but in order that it might
not be wasted, he poured it on the roots of a reddish-yellow lily that
stood in one of the border-beds. As the novice gave no sign of going,
the Abbot asked, “You wish to speak with me? Speak!”
“Holy Father.”
“I am not holy; One is holy, the Lord your God in heaven! If you have a
complaint, make it.”
“I was a rich youth, who went and sold all that he had.”
“I also did that when I was young, and then built seven convents, but
have not regretted it. What have you against it? Why do you complain?”
The youth was silent.
“Is it about the food? There is a famine round us, and we must share
with the poor.”
“Not only that, venerable father, but the whole way of living here does
not accomplish what it is intended to do.”
“Say on.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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