History of a literary radical, and other essaysBourne, Randolph Silliman
General
History of a literary radical, and other essays
Bourne, Randolph Silliman
American essays -- 20th century
the peace that radiated from her at the sight of this freshly burnished
garden. The grass would be smooth like a carpet, the flower-beds and
the vegetable-garden all dark and tumbled with their upturned earth.
The paths would be straight brown indented tracks, or, where they went
around the house, beautifully curved tracks, with the marks of the
rake on the fine earth where George had worked it over. During the week
the grass would grow longer, the weeds shoot up in the flower-beds,
the paths become bedraggled at the edges, the grass grow up rank on
the lawns. But soon Saturday would come with George, and the fine
renovation would take place all over again.
Aunt Nan was neat and quick in her movements. She had a cold scorn for
dirty faces and dirty hands, and Gilbert sometimes became a little
weary trying to satisfy her demands. He was always a little intimidated
by her, but at the same time fascinated by her vibrancy, her restless
passion. He loved to see her coming towards him, because he knew that
she would snatch him away to something interesting. But he was a little
fearful, too; subdued by that decisiveness that made him realize how
little what he wanted would count. She did not kiss or fondle Gilbert
much. She would take him on her lap and put her arms around him.
Mother was never like that. She did not seem to know what she wanted.
Every incident was a crisis. Gilbert found that he and Olga could
resist her by delaying. Dirty faces could be grudgingly and slowly
cleaned. One could come in the utmost disapproving reluctance when one
was called. Mother was always distressed that you did not obey her; she
was always distressed about what to do with you. She would implore you
to be good, and you would be good with a certain chilly haughtiness,
because it seemed somewhat humiliating to see Mother so distressed and
uncertain. Olga did not usually obey, but kicked and screamed. Gilbert
soon got the habit of ignoring his mother’s expressed desires and
wearing out her decisiveness. Then he would be left alone to follow his
own desires.
That yard, which Aunt Nan loved so much, was for Gilbert a domain,
a principality. It was years before he had really explored it
thoroughly or searched out all its delights. At first it was a rich and
bountiful collection of all the things that Gilbert had missed in the
back-street. He did not know that he had missed them, but now that he
had found them, something down very deep in him told him that this was
what his restlessness and sadness had craved.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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