History of a literary radical, and other essaysBourne, Randolph Silliman
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History of a literary radical, and other essays
Bourne, Randolph Silliman
American essays -- 20th century
The yard was wonderful to Gilbert. The winter was one long torpor
when, as he played with his blocks in the great stretch of sunlight in
Mother’s room, the days passed almost in a dream. It was only when
spring came, and he could run about and see the buds and the flowers
come out one after another, that he felt alive again. And it was good
in the endless summer days to have so much to attend to. He could be
playing in Three Trees Grove, and yet have running in an undercurrent
of his mind the sense of the garden or the japonica hedge, or the
manger in the barn. He could go down to the cherry-tree to see if the
cherries were ripe, or to the currant-bushes, or he could prick his
fingers on the rose-bushes, or get himself stuck in the gum of the
pine-trees. The yard was a world, and only very dimly did he imagine
anything beyond it. What his mother did in the kitchen or about the
house only very dimly concerned him. What they had to live on never
entered his mind. His sorrows were concerned almost entirely with the
rebellions of Olga, or the calamities of weather which would keep
them all home from a walk to the kind lady who lived up the street
and gave them cookies when they went to see her. Or the hornets and
yellow-jackets. Sometimes on very hot days, when Mother kept them
in the darkened back parlor and the big clock ticked menacingly,
insistently at them, and Gilbert felt sleepy and could not go to
sleep, the tædium vitæ would overwhelm him in a great drenching wave.
He was suddenly conscious of time, endlessly flowing and yet somehow
dreadfully static. Nothing was ever going to happen again; he was as if
alive in a tomb. The flies buzzed; the clock ticked; Mother was taking
an exhausted nap; Aunt Nan and Garna were away for a vacation. The
world was a great vacuum with nothing to experience and nothing to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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