History of a literary radical, and other essaysBourne, Randolph Silliman
General
History of a literary radical, and other essays
Bourne, Randolph Silliman
American essays -- 20th century
When the candy-man came through the train, Ernest asked me in the most
detached tone in the world if I was going to buy any candy. And I asked
him with a similar dryness what his preferences in candy were. He
expressed a cool interest in lemon-drops. The marvelous way in which
Ernest did not eat those lemon-drops gave me a new admiration for his
self-control. He finished his buttered roll, gazed out of the window,
casually ate two or three lemon-drops, and then carefully closed
the box and put it in his pocket. I was almost jealous of Ernest’s
character. I recalled my incorrigible nibblings. I predicted for Ernest
a moral life.
Our talk was mostly of the things that flashed past our eyes. I was
interested in Ernest’s intellectual background. Out of the waste of
sign-boards and salt-meadows there was occasionally disentangled a
river with boats or a factory or a lumber-yard which Ernest could be
called upon to identify. He was in great good humor, squirming on his
seat, and he took delight in naming things and in telling me of other
trips on the railroad he had taken. He did not ask where we were going.
I told him, but it seemed not especially to concern him. He was living
in life’s essential,--excitement,--and neither the future nor the past
mattered. He held his own ticket a little incredulously, but without
that sense of the importance of the business that I had looked for. I
found it harder and harder not to treat him as an intellectual equal.
In Brookfield I became conscious of a desire to show Ernest off. I
was acquiring a proprietary interest in him. I was getting proud of
his good temper, his intelligence, his self-restraint, his capacity
for enjoying himself. I wanted to see my pride reflected in another
mind. I would take him to my wise old friend, Beulah. I knew how
pleasurably mystified she would be at my sudden possession of a chubby,
yellow-haired little boy of six.
Ernest had a delightful hour on Beulah’s parlor floor. He turned
somersaults, he shouted, he played that I was an evil monster who was
trying to catch him. He would crawl up warily towards me and put his
hand on my sleepily outstretched palm. As I suddenly woke and seized
him, he would dart away in shrieks of fear and glee. When I caught
him, I would feel like a grim ogre indeed, for his face would cloud
and little tears shoot into his eyes, and his lips would curl in
mortal fear. And then I would let him go tugging and sprawling, and
he would yell with joy, and steal back with ever-renewed cunning and
watchfulness. When he had eaten Beulah’s cakes and drunk her cocoa, he
lay back in a big chair, glowing with rosiness, and still laughing at
the thought of his escape from my ogredom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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