History of English Humour, Vol. 2L'Estrange, A. G. K. (Alfred Guy Kingan)
History
History of English Humour, Vol. 2
L'Estrange, A. G. K. (Alfred Guy Kingan)
English wit and humor -- History and criticism; Wit and humor -- History and criticism
"Before the Temple of Freedom can be erected the surface must be
smoothed and levelled, it must be cleared by repeated revolutionary
explosions, from all the lumber and rubbish with which aristocracy
and fanaticism will endeavour to encumber it, and to impede the
progress of the holy work. The completion of the edifice will
indeed be the more tardy, but it will not be the less durable for
having been longer delayed. Cemented with the blood of tyrants and
the tears of the aristocracy, it will rise a monument for the
astonishment and veneration of future ages. The remotest posterity
with our children yet unborn, and the most distant portions of the
globe will crowd round its gates, and demand admission into its
sanctuary. 'The Tree of Liberty' will be planted in the midst, and
its branches will extend to the ends of the earth, while the
friends of freedom meet and fraternize and amalgamate under its
consolatory shade. There our infants shall be taught to lisp in
tender accents the revolutionary hymn, there with wreaths of
myrtle, and oak, and poplar, and vine, and olive and cypress, and
ivy, with violets and roses and daffodils and dandelions in our
hands, we will swear respect to childhood and manhood, and old age,
and virginity, and womanhood, and widowhood; but above all to the
Supreme Being. There we will decree and sanction the immortality of
the soul, there pillars and obelisks, and arches, and pyramids will
awaken the love of glory and of our country. There painters and
statuaries with their chisels and colours, and engravers with their
engraving tools will perpetuate the interesting features of our
revolutionary heroes."
The next extract is called "The Army of England," written by the
ci-devant Bishop of Autun, and represents a French invasion as
imminent:--
"Good republicans all
The Directory's call
Invites you to visit John Bull;
Oppressed by the rod
Of a king and a God
The cup of his misery's full;
"Old Johnny shall see
What makes a man free,
Not parchments, or statutes, or paper;
And stripped of his riches,
Great charter and breeches,
Shall cut a free citizen's caper.
"Then away, let us over
To Deal or to Dover,
We laugh at his talking so big;
He's pampered with feeding,
And wants a sound bleeding,
_Par Dieu_! he shall bleed like a pig.
"John tied to a stake
A grand baiting will make
When worried by mastiffs of France,
What republican fun
To see his blood run
As at Lyons, La Vendee and Nantes.
"With grape-shot discharges,
And plugs in his barges,
With national razors good store,
We'll pepper and shave him
And in the Thames lave him--
How sweetly he'll bellow and roar!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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