Harry Idle were to measure swords on a similar occasion."[372] Their animosity is so bitter that they lower themselves to play the part of buffoons. The most elegant person in the room, Lady Teazle, shows her teeth to ape a ridiculous lady, draws her mouth on one side, and makes faces. There is no pause, no softening; sarcasms fly about like pistol shots. The author had laid in a stock, he had to use them up. He himself is speaking through the mouth of his characters; he gives them all the same wit, that is his own, his irony, his harshness, his picturesque vigor; whatever they are, clowns, fops, old maids, no matter, the author's main business is to break out into twenty explosions in a minute: "_Mrs. Candour._ Well, I will never join in the ridicule of a friend; so I tell my cousin Ogle, and ye all know what pretensions she has to beauty. _Crab._ She has the oddest countenance--a collection of features from all the corners of the globe. _Sir Benjamin._ She has, indeed, an Irish front. _Crab._ Caledonian locks. _Sir B._ Dutch nose. _Crab._ Austrian lips. _Sir B._ The complexion of a Spaniard. _Crab._ And teeth _à la Chinoise._ _Sir B._ In short, her face resembles a _table d'hôte_ at Spa, where no two guests are of a nation. _Crab._ Or a congress at the close of a general war, where every member seems to have a different interest, and the nose and chin are the only parties likely to join issue."[373] Or again: "_Crab._ Sad news upon his arrival, to hear how your brother has gone on! _Joseph Surface._ I hope no busy people have already prejudiced his uncle against him--he may reform. _Sir Benjamin._ True, he may; for my part, I never thought him so utterly void of principle as people say, and though he has lost all his friends, I am told nobody is better spoken of amongst the Jews. _Crab._ Foregad, if the old Jewry was a ward, Charles would be an alderman, for he pays as many annuities as the Irish Tontine; and when he is sick, they have prayers for his recovery in all the Synagogues. _Sir B._ Yet no man lives in greater splendor.--They tell me, when he entertains his friends, he can sit down to dinner with a dozen of his own securities, have a score of tradesmen waiting in the ante-chamber, and an officer behind every guest's chair."[374] And again: "_Sir B._ Mr. Surface, I did not mean to hurt you, but depend on't, your brother is utterly undone. _Crab._ Oh! undone as ever man was--can't raise a guinea. _Sir B._ Everything is sold, I am told, that was moveable. _Crab._ Not a moveable left, except some old bottles and some pictures, and they seem to be framed in the wainscot, egad. _Sir B._ I am sorry to hear also some bad stories of him. _Crab._ Oh! he has done many mean things, that's certain. _Sir B._ But, however, he's your brother. _Crab._ Ah! as he is your brother--we'll tell you more another opportunity."[375]