Christian fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"Never!" repeated Astra, with proud emphasis. "I was engaged," she
went on, after a moment, in an altered and tremulous tone, "to a
MAN,--a calm, wise, noble man,--not a monster, nor a piece of
mechanism. I was engaged to an earnest seeker after truth, a
courageous grappler with problems that other men shunned, an honest
speaker of his own thoughts and moulder of his own opinions,--a man
who, though he might be temporarily led astray by the very excess of
his virtues of candor, boldness, and integrity, would be sure to come
right in the end. He is dead,--or he never lived, except in my
imagination,--_requiescat in pace_. But to _you_,--a body without a
soul, an intellect without a heart, a will without a faith, a kind of
human beast of prey, intent on nothing but the gratification of his own
selfish ends,--to you I was never pledged. I would as soon have bound
myself to a corpse, or a calculating machine."
"This is plain talk, Astra," said Dr. Remy, growing pale with anger and
mortification. "If you were not a woman, it would be easier to answer
it."
"It is not only plain talk, but plain sight," replied Astra. "The
scales have fallen from my eyes; at last, I see you as you are. The
most that can be said for you, as well as in excuse for my late
infatuation (for I would not seem altogether despicable in my own
eyes), is that great and rich capabilities have been miserably
perverted, in your person. A grand soul has somehow been strangled
within you. Some hidden canker--beginning I know not when nor where,
but to which your surgeon's knowledge ought to have impelled you long
ago to put the surgeon's knife--has slowly eaten out everything that
was sound and good, in your moral system, and left nothing but
rottenness. And it is now too late for remedy. If it were not,--if
there were any hope that I could help to save you, by clinging to
you,--I think I have the strength and courage to do it. As it is, I
should only corrupt myself. Indeed, I fear it will be long ere I get
rid of the virus of doubt and captiousness, which, I find, you have
already introduced into my mind; and of which that figure" (she pointed
to the statue of clay) "is the legitimate outcome. You have given a
bias to my mode of thought, which has already shaken my faith to its
foundations,--and might, in time (but for the scathing commentary of
your life upon your opinions), have destroyed it. Leave me now. We
have done with each other."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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