Bildungsromans; Christian fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
Walter slept and woke and slept again. All the afternoon he was
restless, as one who dreams without sleeping. The things presented to
his mind, and seeming with him, were not those about him. Late in the
afternoon, the fever abated a little, and he felt as one who wakes out
of a dream. For a few minutes he lay staring into the room, then rose
and with difficulty dressed himself, one moment shivering, the next
burning. He knew perfectly what he was doing; his mind was possessed
with an unappeasable longing and absolute determination to go home. The
longing had been there all the night and all the day, except when it was
quieted by the shadowy assuagement of his visions; and now with the
first return of his consciousness to present conditions, came resolve.
Better die at home, he said to himself, than recover in such a horrible
place! On he went with his preparations, mechanical but methodical, till
at last he put on his great-coat, took his rug, searched his purse,
found enough to pay a cab to the railway station, went softly down the
stair, and was in the street, a man lonely and feeble, but with a great
joy of escape. Happily a cab was just passing, and he was borne in
safety, half asleep again after his exertions, to the station. There he
sought the station-master, and telling him his condition, prevailed upon
him to take his watch as a pledge that he would send him the price of
his ticket.
It was a wet night, but not very cold, and he did not suffer at
first--was in fact more comfortable than he had been in bed. He seemed
to himself perfectly sane when he started, but of the latter half of his
journey he remembered nothing connectedly. What fragments of it returned
to his recollection appeared as the remnants of a feverish dream.
The train arrived late in the dark night, at an hour when a conveyance
was rarely to be had. He remembered nothing, however, of setting out to
walk home, and nothing clearly as to how he fared on the way. His
dreaming memory gave him but a sense of climbing, climbing, with a cold
wind buffeting him back, and bits of paper, which must have been
snow-flakes, beating in his face: he thought they were the shreds of the
unsold copies of his book, torn to pieces by the angry publisher, and
sent swirling about his face in clouds to annoy him. After that came a
great blank.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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