She woke in the morning to the sound of her alarm clock, an instrument
of torture which, before the war, she had never heard. At once there
descended upon her two overpowering sensations, one an intense desire to
stay in bed and rest, the other the realization that she had no time to
lose if she was to be at her office on time. She was up at once, and
began making a hasty toilet with cold water. It was so hasty that she
had no time to think, even in passing, of the old days when waking up
meant ringing for some one to open shutters, close windows and bring hot
water, breakfast, and the mails. By the time she had finished her
Spartan toilet, her _concierge_, very sleepy-eyed and frowsy, rang at
the door and handed in a bowl of _café au lait_ and a piece of bread,
with the morning paper folded across the tray. The Directrice sat down
in her cheerless dining-room and ate her breakfast, reading, eagerly at
first, and then grimly, the communiqué of the day. "No advance anywhere
along the lines; a few _coups-de-main_ here and there--indecisive
results." Another day like all the others had begun, a day when hope was
forbidden, when the only thing left was to endure and do the task at
hand. For her, personally, there was nothing to fear in the lists of
the dead, because she had found there, two long years before, the name
which alone gave meaning to her life.
She put on her hat without looking in the mirror. This is a strange
action in a Frenchwoman, but the Directrice was already preoccupied by
the work awaiting her in her office. As she walked rapidly along through
the rain, she was turning over in her mind the possibilities for one of
her charges, Philippe, the childlike one who was perfectly willing to
sit down there in the comfortable home provided for him and allow
himself to be forever supported. It was not, Heaven knows, that our
Directrice would not have liked forever and ever to have him supported
and cared for like any child. But she had the instinctive grasp on the
exigencies of human nature which is characteristic of her nation, and
she knew that if he were to be again a normal human being, he must be
roused to a sense of responsibility for his own life, in spite of the
dreadful calamity which war had brought him. But how could he _be_
aroused? He had shown no interest in learning how to be a professional
knitter; he had only dabbled in clay-modeling; his typewriting continued
indifferent--what could there be which she had not yet tried?
Never before, until the war took away not only the meaning of her life
but all her goods, had she known what it was to walk at that dismally
early hour in the morning through a dismally rainy street. But now she
was so absorbed with the needs of another that she did not at all feel
the rain in her face or see the mud on her shoes, and had not even the
most passing pang of pity for herself, losing her youth from one day to
another, with very little to hope for and,--alas!--nothing left to fear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account