Home Influence: A Tale for Mothers and DaughtersAguilar, Grace
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Home Influence: A Tale for Mothers and Daughters
Aguilar, Grace
Domestic fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction
"Then answer me, Ellen, this moment, and distinctly; for what purpose
were you seeking Mrs. Langford's cottage by that forbidden path, and
when?"
"I wanted money, and I went to ask her to take my trinkets--my watch, if
it must be--and dispose of them as I had read of others doing, as
miserable as I was; and the wind blew the notes to my very hand, and I
used them. I was mad then--I have been mad since, I believe; but I would
have returned the whole amount to Robert, if I could but have parted
with my trinkets in time."
To describe the tone of utter despair, the recklessness as to the effect
her words would produce, is impossible. Every word increased Mrs.
Hamilton's bewilderment and misery. To suppose that Ellen did not feel
was folly. It was the very depth of wretchedness which was crushing her
to the earth, but every answered and unanswered question but deepened
the mystery, and rendered her judge's task more difficult.
"And when was this, Ellen? I will have no more evasion--tell me the
exact day."
But she asked in vain. Ellen remained moveless, and silent as the dead.
After several minutes, Mrs. Hamilton removed her hands from her face,
and compelling her to lift up her head; gazed searchingly on her
deathlike countenance for some moments in utter silence, and then said,
in a tone that Ellen never in her life forgot--
"You can not imagine, Ellen, that this half-confession will either
satisfy me, or in the smallest degree redeem your sin. One and one only
path is open to you; for all that you have said and left unsaid but
deepens your apparent guilt, and so blackens your conduct, that I can
scarcely believe I am addressing the child I so loved--and could still
so love, if but one real sign be given of remorse and penitence--one
hope of returning truth. But that sign, that hope, can only be a full
confession. Terrible as is the guilt of appropriating so large a sum,
granted it came by the merest chance into your hand; dark as is the
additional sin of concealment when an innocent person was
suffering--something still darker, more terrible, must lie concealed
behind it, or you would not, could not, continue thus obdurately silent.
I can believe that under some heavy pressure of misery, some strong
excitement, the sum might have been used without thought, and that fear
might have prevented the confession of any thing so dreadful; but what
was this heavy necessity for money, this strong excitement? What fearful
and mysterious difficulties have you been led into to call for either?
Tell me the truth, Ellen, the whole truth; let me have some hope of
saving you and myself the misery of publicly declaring you the guilty
one, and so proving Robert's innocence. Tell me what difficulty, what
misery so maddened you, as to demand the disposal of your trinkets. If
there be the least excuse, the smallest possibility of your obtaining in
time forgiveness, I will grant it. I will not believe you so utterly
fallen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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