But armed as she is with the unlimited authority with which custom has invested parents, the mother-in-law has not always the best of it in the tussle with her daughter-in-law. She may be good-natured and submit to the other as readily as she has submitted all her life to her husband; or she may be accessible to flattery and be made the other’s tool by judicious coaxing. She is under the thumb of her superior in wit, will, or tact. She may be made to consent to live apart from the young couple if her husband is still living, or to content herself with the use of a single room in their house if she is a widow; and sometimes she becomes little better than an upper servant. A daughter-in-law who can make her a willing slave, exercises as great an influence over her husband and can persuade him to acquiesce in any proposal that she may make with respect to his mother. It must, however, be admitted in justice to the mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law that there are many pleasant exceptions. Mothers-in-law there are in abundance who are willing to give the young wife any help in their power and afford her every chance of establishing herself in the household. They recognise the change in the times, and with the vague optimism of old age, hope for the best and cheerfully resign themselves to the lead of their sons’ wives. The wife too, on her part, is not insensible to these kindly advances and serves her mother-in-law with all her heart, ministers to her wants, and guides her gently as she totters to the grave. In many a household such peaceful relations subsist. Then, again, the child-birth pain is the purgatory out of which the young wife rises to be received with deeper love by the whole family, and by right of motherhood, strengthens her position in the household. The child being, as a Japanese proverb says, the chain that binds the husband and the wife to each other, the latter’s hold on her husband’s affection becomes stronger when she is a mother; but a Japanese work on etiquette warns the wife that as her husband’s parents, brothers, and sisters, however well-intentioned they may be towards her, are not after all of her blood, she must be careful never to give cause for offence and be on her guard against any thoughtless deed or word likely to set their tongues wagging, and that she should consider herself to be in the enemy’s country and be prepared for surprises and ambuscades. The advice is no doubt sound; but it implies the possibility of family disturbances when too many of the husband’s near relatives live with him, and the inference is that however well-disposed such relatives may be, the wife cannot count for a certainty upon a life of unruffled calm, and their dwelling under the same roof with her must always be a factor, actual or potential, of domestic discord; in other words, so long as this custom holds, conjugal happiness must be more or less problematical.