And he hoped to earn the twenty or thirty pounds by literature. His
father had to be amused by cribbage; and many were the weary hours that
Charles would sit playing with him, to the neglect of his
correspondence, his friends, the thousand-and-one private interests
which filled up his little leisure. Sometimes he would try to be let
off, but the old man would say, reproachfully, "If you won't play with
me, you might as well not come home at all;" and the dutiful son set to
afresh. There is a sort of heroism in this which only those people can
appreciate who really value their time. These people will give all else
cheerfully,--money, strength, the heart's deep devotion,--but they give
very grudgingly their precious moments; they feel as though they were
being robbed in every hour thus lost. Oh, the agony of impatience! oh,
the restlessness of the fever which consumes them when they feel the
moments fleeing away, and the unconscious thief perhaps deriving little
pleasure or profit from the loss! Rebellion against fate is often a
virtue under such circumstances; and we are inclined to think it would
have been so in the case of poor Elia, even though the poor old man
should have gone to his grave with a few less games of cribbage recorded
against him.
Think of the delicious essays which might have been written in those
misspent hours, in those days of youth when Elia was at his best, before
the sorrowful touches of Time had been left upon his genius; think of
the exquisite letters his friends might have received, and which would
have enriched all the coming time; think of the inimitable drolleries
which would have sent a smile over the face of the world; think of the
little pathetic touches he would have given in sketches of
characteristic humor, all with the freshness of his dawn upon them,--and
mourn, O world of letters, for your loss! But the old man,--he for whom
the light had gone out in darkness; over whose brain the cobwebs had
been woven; who had no joy in the great things of this life; who saw no
beauty or splendor in the outer world; who had no treasure in the world
of thought; who could not be stirred again by any of the absorbing
passions of life; who knew no love, no hate, no ambition, no great
impulse to do or to dare; who could not enter into the realm of books or
art or music; who had not even a friend in all the universe of God;
think of the old man who had only this one thing,--cards,--and pause a
moment before you say that gentle Elia did not well.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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