Hopes and Fears: or, scenes from the life of a spinsterYonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
General
Hopes and Fears: or, scenes from the life of a spinster
Yonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
However, when she awoke early and saw the sun laughing through the
shining drops, she decided on going down ere the curious world was astir,
to see what had been done. It was not far from six, when she let herself
out at the porch, and very like a morning with Humfrey, with the
tremulous glistening of every spray, and the steamy fragrance rising
wherever the sun touched the grass, that seemed almost to grow visibly.
The woods were ringing with the song of birds, circle beyond circle, and
there was something in the exuberant merriment of those blackbirds and
thrushes that would not let her be sad, though they had been Humfrey's
special glory. The thought of such pleasures did not seem out of
keeping. The lane was overhung with bushes; the banks, a whole wealth of
ferns, climbing plants, tall grasses, and nettles, had not yet felt the
sun and were dank and dreary, so she hurried on, and arriving at the
clerk's door, knocked and opened. He was gone to his work, and sounds
above showed the wife to be engaged on the toilette of the younger
branches. She called out that she had come for the keys of the church,
and seeing them on the dresser, abstracted them, bidding the good woman
give herself no trouble.
She paused under the porch, and ere fitting the heavy key to the lock,
felt that strange pressure and emotion of the heart that even if it be
sorrow is also an exquisite sensation. If it were mournful that the one
last office she could render to Humfrey was over, it was precious to her
to be the only one who had a right to pay it, the one whom he had loved
best upon earth, round whom she liked to believe that he still might be
often hovering--whom he might welcome by and by. Here was the place for
communion with him, the spot which had, indeed, been to him none other
than the gate of Heaven.
Yet, will it be believed? Not one look did Honora cast at Humfrey
Charlecote's monument that morning.
With both hands she turned the reluctant bolts of the lock, and pushed
open the nail-studded door. She slowly advanced along the uneven floor
of the aisle, and had just reached the chancel arch, when something
suddenly stirred, making her start violently. It was still, and after a
pause she again advanced, but her heart gave a sudden throb, and a
strange chill of awe rushed over her as she beheld a little white face
over the altar rail, the chin resting on a pair of folded hands, the dark
eyes fixed in a strange, dreamy, spiritual expression of awe.
The shock was but for a moment, the next the blood rallied to her heart,
and she told herself that Humfrey would say, that either the state of her
spirits had produced an illusion, or else that some child had been left
here by accident. She advanced, but as she did so the two hands were
stretched out and locked together as in an agony, and the childish,
feeble voice cried out, 'Oh! if you're an angel, please don't frighten
me; I'll be very good.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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