Household Papers and StoriesStowe, Harriet Beecher
General
Household Papers and Stories
Stowe, Harriet Beecher
Didactic fiction; Home economics -- Fiction; Short stories
This is the very time that you should know that Mrs. Simmons is tired
to death of her fine establishment, and weighed down with the task of
keeping the peace among her servants. She is a quiet soul, dearly
loving her ease and hating strife; and yet last week she had five
quarrels to settle between her invaluable cook and the other members
of her staff, because invaluable cook, on the strength of knowing how
to get up state dinners and to manage all sorts of mysteries which her
mistress knows nothing about, asserts the usual right of spoiled
favorites to insult all her neighbors with impunity, and rule with a
rod of iron over the whole house. Anything that is not in the least
like her own home and ways of living will be a blessed relief and
change to Mrs. Simmons. Your clean, quiet house, your delicate
cookery, your cheerful morning tasks, if you will let her follow you
about, and sit and talk with you while you are at your work, will all
seem a pleasant contrast to her own life. Of course, if it came to the
case of offering to change lots in life, she would not do it; but very
likely she _thinks_ she would, and sighs over and pities herself, and
thinks sentimentally how fortunate you are, how snugly and securely
you live, and wishes she were as untrammeled and independent as you.
And she is more than half right; for, with her helpless habits, her
utter ignorance of the simplest facts concerning the reciprocal
relations of milk, eggs, butter, saleratus, soda, and yeast, she is
completely the victim and slave of the person she pretends to rule.
Only imagine some of the frequent scenes and rehearsals in her family.
After many trials, she at last engages a seamstress who promises to
prove a perfect treasure,--neat, dapper, nimble, skillful, and
spirited. The very soul of Mrs. Simmons rejoices in heaven. Illusive
bliss! The newcomer proves to be no favorite with Madam Cook, and the
domestic fates evolve the catastrophe, as follows. First, low murmur
of distant thunder in the kitchen; then a day or two of sulky silence,
in which the atmosphere seems heavy with an approaching storm. At last
comes the climax. The parlor door flies open during breakfast. Enter
seamstress in tears, followed by Mrs. Cook, with a face swollen and
red with wrath, who tersely introduces the subject-matter of the drama
in a voice trembling with rage.
"Would you be plased, ma'am, to suit yerself with another cook? Me
week will be up next Tuesday, and I want to be going."
"Why, Bridget, what's the matter?"
"Matter enough, ma'am! I niver could live with them Cork girls in a
house, nor I won't; them as likes the Cork girls is welcome for all
me; but it's not for the likes of me to live with them, and she been
in the kitchen a-upsettin' of me gravies with her flatirons and
things."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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