How he won herSouthworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
General
How he won her
Southworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
American fiction -- 19th century
“Elfie,” he said, sadly and frankly, “if I were conscious of having done
wrong, I should be sorry for it now, or never. ‘A death-bed’s a detector
of the heart,’ ’tis said. If the course you blame so bitterly had been a
career of crime, I should know it now, if ever, and I should atone for
it by a death-bed repentance. And you, and all who think with you, would
unite in approving and consoling the penitent. But when I speak my next
words, Elfie, you and yours may harden your hearts against me. I cannot
help that. For, Elfie, not to secure the good will of the people around
me—not even to secure your sweet presence, which is the only earthly
consolation I have now left in life—will I deceive myself, or you, or
them. Listen, Elfie, and then leave me if you must. Here lying in the
hospital, wounded and dying, and surrounded by the enemies of my
country, and in danger of losing your love, I tell you I am _not_ sorry
for what I have done. I do _not_ repent the course I have pursued. I
know now, as I knew then, that I was and am right. There, Elfie! That is
the faith in which I shall live and die. You, Elfie, think differently.
And I do not blame you. The freedom of opinion that I claim for myself I
give to all others. Now then, my dearest, if your conscience commands
you to leave me, leave me. And if you go, I shall not reproach you, even
in my thoughts. I shall thank you from the bottom of my heart for all
past kindness; I shall love you as long as I live, and I shall bless you
with my dying breath. Now go, my beloved, if indeed you must.”
“Oh, Albert!” exclaimed Elfie, struggling to suppress her tears, “you
know I will never leave you while you live! never, Albert, never! I
cannot convert you, but I cannot help loving you!” she added, stooping
and pressing her lips to his.
“My poor, dear girl, I wish we could think alike!” he murmured, feebly
caressing her head, that lay so near his bosom.
“And now let us talk no more of this horrible war. Let us forget for a
while the madness of the rebellion,” said Elfie.
“Not just yet, my Elfie. I must justify myself in your eyes, for your
sake, if possible,” he murmured.
“Oh! do not—do not! Oh! say no more. You are already too much excited. I
was very wrong to have started the subject. I have raised your fever;
and the doctor would serve me right to turn me out of the hospital,”
said Elfie.
“My dear girl, you have not excited me. Don’t you see that I am past all
that, Elfie? Besides, I _must_ say more in self-justification. Only to
_you_, Elfie. I would not stoop to justify myself to another,” he
proudly added.
“Go on, then, but don’t—don’t fatigue yourself.”
“Listen, then, my darling girl: You and I are diametrically opposed to
each other on the subject of this civil war, are we not?”
“Yes, yes; more’s the pity.”
“So say I, ‘More’s the pity.’ And yet, diametrically opposed as we are,
we are each of us true to our firmest convictions of duty, are we not?”
“I truly believe so,” admitted Elfie.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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