England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction
On a certain morning, Charlotte got up, put on her walking things, and
went out. She had not been out of doors for a week, and a sudden longing
to be alone in the fresh outer world came over her too strongly to be
rejected. She called a hansom and once more drove to her favorite
Regent's Park. The park was now in all the full beauty and glory of its
spring dress, and Charlotte sat down under the green and pleasant shade
of a wide spreading oak-tree. She folded her hands in her lap and gazed
straight before her. She had lived through one storm, but she knew that
another was before her. The sky overhead was still gray and lowering;
there was scarcely even peace in this brief lull in the tempest. In the
first sudden fierceness of the storm she had acted nobly and bravely,
but now that the excitement was past, there was coming to her a certain
hardening of heart, and she was beginning to doubt the goodness of God.
At first, most truly she had scarcely thought of herself at all, but it
was impossible as the days went on for her not to make a moan over her
own altered life. The path before her looked very dark, and Charlotte's
feet had hitherto been unaccustomed to gloom. She was looking forward to
the death, the inevitable and certainly approaching death of her father.
That was bad, that was dreadful; but bad and dreadful as it would be to
say good-bye to the old man, what must follow would be worse; however
she might love him, however tenderly she might treat him, during his few
remaining days or weeks of life, when all was over and he could return
no more to receive men's praise or blame, then she must disgrace him,
she must hold him up for the world's scorn. It would be impossible even
to hope that the story would not be known, and once known it would heap
dishonor on the old head she loved. For Charlotte, though she saw the
sin, though the sin itself was most terrible and horrible to her, was
still near enough to Christ in her nature to forgive the sinner. She had
suffered; oh, how bitterly through this man! but none the less for this
reason did she love him. But there was another cause for her heartache;
and this was more personal. Hinton and she were parted. That was right.
Any other course for her to have pursued would have been most distinctly
wrong. But none the less did her heart ache and feel very sore; for how
easily had Hinton acquiesced in her decision! She did not even know of
his visit to the house. That letter, which would have been, whatever its
result, like balm to her wounded spirit, had never reached her. Hinton
was most plainly satisfied that they should meet no more. Doubtless it
was best, doubtless in the end it would prove the least hard course; but
none the less did hot tears fall now; none the less heavy was her
heart. She was wiping away a tear or two, and thinking these very sad
thoughts, when a clear little voice in her ear startled her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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