How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to MarriageHardy, E. J. (Edward John)
General
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage
Hardy, E. J. (Edward John)
Marriage
"Manners are of more importance than laws. Upon these, in a great
measure, the laws depend. The law teaches us but here and there,
now and then. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify,
exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady,
uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe
in. They give their whole form and colour to our lives. According
to their quality, they aid morals, they supply laws, or they
totally destroy them."--_Burke._
About twelve thousand police in London are able to take care of about
four million people. How is it done? Chiefly by moral force, and, above
all, by civility. Sir Edmund Henderson, the Chief Commissioner of the
force, said on a recent occasion that it was by "strict attention to
duty, by sobriety, and, above all, by civility," that the police
endeavoured to do their duty. "I lay great stress upon civility," said
the Chief Commissioner, "for I think it is the great characteristic of
the metropolitan police force."
If civility and politeness have such an influence upon the hard, rough
world of London how much greater will be the effect of good manners or
beautiful behaviour, not only in rendering comparatively safe the many
difficult crossings in the path of newly-married people, but also in
adorning even the smallest details of family life! True courtesy
exhibits itself in a disposition to contribute to the happiness of
others, and in refraining from all that may annoy them. And the
cultivation day by day of this sweet reasonableness is almost as
necessary to the comfort of those who live together as the daily calls
of the milkman and the baker. If no two people have it so much in their
power to torment each other as husband and wife, it is their bounden
duty to guard against this liability by cultivating the habit of
domestic politeness. It is a mistake to suppose that the forms of
courtesy can be safely dispensed with in the family circle. With the
disappearance of the forms the reality will too often disappear. The
very effort of appearing bright under adverse circumstances is sure to
render cheerfulness easier on another occasion.
Good manners like good words cost little and are worth much. They oil
the machinery of social life, but more especially of domestic life. If a
cheerful "good morning" and "good evening" conciliate strangers they are
not lost upon a wife. Hardness and repulsiveness of manner originate in
want of respect for the feelings of others.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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