How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to MarriageHardy, E. J. (Edward John)
General
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage
Hardy, E. J. (Edward John)
Marriage
In order to have sunlight at home, it is not enough negatively to
abstain from fault-finding and general peevishness. We should recognize
praise as a positive duty. If a thing is done wrongly, better sometimes
to say nothing about it. Wait until it happens to be done rightly, and
then give marked praise. The third time, the charm of your approbation
will produce a much better performance. If it is possible to "damn with
faint praise," how much more damaging must be--no praise at all. How
much potential goodness and greatness would become actual but for the
wet blanket of sullen silence! "As we must account for every idle word,
so we must for every idle silence." This saying of Franklin should
suggest speech in season to ungrateful husbands who never throw a word
of encouragement to their wives however deserving. In military riding
schools may often be heard the command--"Make much of your horses!" The
horses have been trotting, galloping, and jumping. They have had to
stand quietly while the men dismounted and fired their carbines kneeling
before them. They have gone through their parts well, so after the men
have again mounted, the order is given--"Make much of your horses!" and
all the riders pat simultaneously the proudly-arched necks of their
deserving steeds. Husbands, take the hint and make much of your wives!
We may here introduce some words of Miss Cobbe in reference to the moral
atmosphere of the house, which depends so immensely on the tone of the
mistress. "I conceive that good, and even high animal spirits are among
the most blessed of possessions--actual wings to bear us up over the
dusty or muddy roads of life; and I think that to keep up the spirits of
a household is not only indefinitely to add to its happiness, but also
to make all duties comparatively light and easy. Thus, however naturally
depressed a mistress may be, I think she ought to struggle to be
cheerful, and to take pains never to quench the blessed spirits of her
children or guests. All of us who live long in great cities get into a
sort of subdued-cheerfulness tone. We are neither very sad nor very
glad; we neither cry, nor ever enjoy that delicious experience of
helpless laughter, the _fou rira_ which is the joy of youth. I wish we
could be more really light of heart." We all share this wish; but how is
it to be realized? By living simple, well-regulated lives, and by
casting all our anxiety upon God who careth for us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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