How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to MarriageHardy, E. J. (Edward John)
General
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage
Hardy, E. J. (Edward John)
Marriage
Overflowing health produces good humour, and we all know how important
that is to matrimonial felicity. I once knew an old lady who used to say
that it was a duty to sometimes take medicine for the sake of one's
friends. She was thinking of the effect of dyspepsia, congested liver,
and other forms of ill-health upon our tempers. The chief misery of
dyspepsia is that it is not merely pain, but pain which affects the
intellect and feelings alike; in Carlyle's vivid words: "Every window of
your feeling, even of your intellect, as it were, begrimed and
mud-bespattered, so that no pure ray can enter; a whole drug-shop in
your inwards; the foredone soul drowning slowly in the quagmires of
disgust."
Oliver Wendell Holmes speaks of a man in the clothing business with an
impressible temperament who let a customer "slip through his fingers one
day without fitting him with a new garment. 'Ah!' said he to a friend of
mine, who was standing by, 'if it hadn't been for that confounded
headache of mine this morning, I'd have had a coat on that man, in spite
of himself, before he left the store.' A passing throb only; but it
deranged the nice mechanism required to persuade the accidental human
being, _x_, into a given piece of broadcloth, _a_."
How many more happy days would a husband and wife spend together were it
not for confounded headaches which cause foolish, bitter words to be
spoken. If a man cannot do business when the nice mechanism of his body
is deranged, neither can he be gentle and kind in the family circle.
This is what Dr. Johnson meant when he said that a man is a villain when
sick.
"Smelfungus," says Sterne, "had been the grand tour, and had seen
nothing to admire; all was barren from Dan to Beersheba; and when I met
him he fell foul of the Venus de Medici; and abused her ladyship like a
common fish-fag. 'I will tell it,' cried he, 'I will tell it to the
world!' 'You had better,' said Sterne, 'tell it to your physician.'" So
too when a man falls foul of his wife, and abuses her ladyship like a
common fish-fag because his liver is out of order, he had better go to a
physician and take every means of clearing his clouded temper.
How much a husband can do by sympathy and kindness for a sick wife! Mrs.
Carlyle used to say, "The very least attention from Carlyle just
glorifies me. When I have one of my headaches, and the sensation of
red-hot knitting-needles darting into my brain, Carlyle's way of
expressing sympathy is to rest a heavy hand on the top of my head, and
keep it there in perfect silence for several seconds, so that although I
could scream with nervous agony, I sit like a martyr, smiling with joy
at such a proof of profound pity from him." The truth is that happiness
is the most powerful of tonics. By accelerating the circulation of the
blood, it facilitates the performance of every function; and so tends
alike to increase health when it exists, and to restore it when it has
been lost.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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