How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to MarriageHardy, E. J. (Edward John)
General
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage
Hardy, E. J. (Edward John)
Marriage
In one of his letters Byron tells a story of a learned Jew, who was
remarkable, in the brilliant circles to which his learning gained him
admittance, for his habit of asking questions continuously and
fearlessly, in order to get at the bottom of any matter in discussion.
To a person who was complaining of the Prince Regent's bad treatment of
his old boon companions, this habitual interrogator cried across a
dinner-table: "And why does the prince act so?" "Because he was told
so-and-so by Lord ----; who ought to be ashamed of himself!" was the
answer. "But why, sir, has the prince cut _you_?" inquired the searcher
after truth. "Because I stuck to my principles--yes, sir, because I
stuck to my principles!" replied the other, testily, thinking that his
examination was ended. "_And why did you stick to your principles?_"
cried the interrogator, throwing the table into a roar of laughter, the
mirth being no more due to the inquisitor's persistence than to his
inability to conceive that any man would stick to his principles simply
because he believed them to be right. Are there not some educated as
well as uneducated people who seem to be quite as incapable of
conceiving that they should keep their marriage vows, simply because it
is dishonourable and wicked to break them?
A mother having become alarmed about the failing state of her daughter's
health, and not being able to get much satisfaction from a consultation
with the village doctor, took her to a London physician for further
advice. He asked a few questions as to the girl's daily habits and mode
of life, carefully stethoscoped her heart and lungs, and then gave an
involuntary sigh. The mother grew pale, and waited anxiously for a
verdict "Madam," he said, "so far as I can discover, your daughter is
suffering from a most serious complaint, which, for want of a better
name, I shall call 'dulness.' Perhaps it is in your power to cure it. I
have no medicine which is a specific for this disease." Girls, who
suffer in this way, too often prescribe for themselves marriage with men
whom they cannot love, honour, and obey. This is as bad as
dram-drinking, or gambling; but what else can the poor things do? They
have not been trained like their brothers to useful work, and have
always been told that woman's first, best occupation is--to be a wife.
To which it may be answered--
"Most true; but to make a mere business of marriage,
To call it a 'living,' 'vocation,' 'career,'
Is but to pervert, to degrade, and disparage
A contract of all the most sacred and dear."
Nor will those vows be regarded with greater sanctity which are taken
against the inclination. Better to be as candid as the girl who, forced
by her parents into a disagreeable match, when the clergyman came to
that part of the service where the bride is asked if she will have the
bridegroom for her husband, said, with great simplicity, "Oh dear, no,
sir; but you are the first person who has asked my opinion about the
matter!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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