How to Become Rich: A Treatise on Phrenology, Choice of Professions and MatrimonyWindsor, William
Science
How to Become Rich: A Treatise on Phrenology, Choice of Professions and Matrimony
Windsor, William
Phrenology
We consent that a congenial companion should be sought for, but we
differ very much from the learned gentleman, just quoted, as to what
constitutes a congenial companion. To comply with the conditions he
expresses, presupposes that the persons, who are to be congenial
companions, must be alike in character, temperament, disposition; for if
they differ in any of these, Phrenology proves that they will, under the
same combination of circumstances, think, feel and act differently also.
We will examine this theory in the light of results and see how it will
work.
We will suppose the case of a man of the Bilious Temperament, dark
complexion, hair and eyes; Moderate Caution; small Vitativeness, Hope
and Self-esteem; large Destructiveness and Acquisitiveness. Such a
combination gives a strong tendency to suicide in cases of financial
loss. We marry him to a wife exactly like himself, and one day he comes
home and informs her that an unlucky speculation has carried away their
fortune, and he has resolved upon suicide. His wife, being a person "who,
under any combination of circumstances, thinks, feels and acts" exactly
as he does, raises no objection. "All right, my love. You take arsenic,
and I'll take strychnine," and they go to perdition together. There is
not enough vitality in such a marriage to last them over one disaster.
Study this theory to its legitimate conclusion in all cases, and you
will find that its results are disastrous. Moreover, it is contrary to
nature. It is not because a man is like a woman that she admires him. If
this were true, the little emasculated dudes, who cannot raise
moustaches, would be more in demand. It is not because a woman is like a
man that he loves her. If this were true, the bearded lady in the Dime
Museum would be at a premium on the matrimonial market. It is because
each is unlike the other, and because each recognizes in the other
something, without which nature is incomplete, that love exists, and
each is attracted to the other by a force as irresistible as gravitation
itself.
But another fellow comes along and proposes to remedy the whole matter
with another theory. And he tells you to marry somebody who is your
opposite in everything; somebody who, under every combination of
circumstances, will think, feel and act differently from your own
impulses. And he hopes, by the fact that you will pull one way and your
companion another, to establish some sort of an equilibrium that will
keep you on your feet. If we follow this theory, like the other, to its
legitimate conclusion, we will find the old problem repeating itself,
"When an immovable body meets an irresistible body, what is the result?"
According to this theory, I should step into this audience and select
the most delicate, refined and accomplished lady among you and marry her
to a South African cannibal, and I would produce correct results.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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