That does the feat with braver vigours, In words at length, as well as figures; Is judge of all the world performs In voluntary feats of arms And whatsoe'er's atchiev'd in fight, 425 Determines which is wrong or right: For whether you prevail, or lose All must be try'd there in the close; And therefore 'tis not wise to shun What you must trust to ere y' have done. 430 The law, that settles all you do, And marries where you did but woo; That makes the most perfidious lover A lady, that's as false, recover; And if it judge upon your side, 435 Will soon extend her for your bride; And put her person, goods, or lands, Or which you like best int' your hands. For law's the wisdom of all ages, And manag'd by the ablest sages; 440 Who, though their bus'ness at the bar Be but a kind of civil war, In which th' engage with fiercer dudgeons Than e'er the GRECIANS did and TROJANS, They never manage the contest 445 T' impair their public interest; Or by their controversies lessen The dignity of their profession: Not like us Brethren, who divide Our Commonwealth, the Cause, and Side; 450 And though w' are all as near of kindred As th' outward man is to the inward, We agree in nothing, but to wrangle About the slightest fingle-fangle; While lawyers have more sober sense 455 Than t' argue at their own expence, But make their best advantages Of others' quarrels, like the Swiss; And, out of foreign controversies, By aiding both sides, fill their purses; 460 But have no int'rest in the cause For which th' engage, and wage the laws; Nor further prospect than their pay, Whether they lose or win the day: And though th' abounded in all ages, 465 With sundry learned clerks and sages, Though all their business be dispute, Which way they canvass ev'ry suit, Th' have no disputes about their art, Nor in Polemicks controvert: 470 While all professions else are found With nothing but disputes t' abound Divines of all sorts, and physicians, Philosophers, mathematicians: The Galenist and Paracelsian 475 Condemn the way each other deals in: Anatomists dissect and mangle, To cut themselves out work to wrangle Astrologers dispute their dreams, That in their sleeps they talk of schemes: 480 And heralds stickle, who got who So many hundred years ago. But lawyers are too wise a nation T' expose their trade to disputation; Or make the busy rabble judges 485 Of all their secret piques and grudges; In which whoever wins the day, The whole profession's sure to pay. Beside, no mountebanks, nor cheats, Dare undertake to do their feats, 490 When in all other sciences They swarm, like insects, and increase.