Which heads denote the sinful tribe Of Deacon, Priest, Lay-Elder, Scribe. 1220 Lay-Elder, SIMEON to LEVI, Whose little finger is as heavy As loins of patriarchs, prince-prelate, And bishop-secular. This zealot Is of a mungrel, diverse kind; 1225 Cleric before, and lay behind; A lawless linsie-woolsie brother, Half of one order, half another; A creature of amphibious nature; On land a beast, a fish in water; 1230 That always preys on grace or sin; A sheep without, a wolf within. This fierce inquisitor has chief Dominion over men's belief And manners: can pronounce a Saint 1235 Idolatrous or ignorant, When superciliously he sifts Through coarsest boulter others' gifts; For all men live and judge amiss, Whose talents jump not just with his. 1240 He'll lay on gifts with hands, and place On dullest noddle Light and Grace, The manufacture of the Kirk. Those pastors are but th' handy-work Of his mechanic paws, instilling 1245 Divinity in them by feeling; From whence they start up Chosen Vessels, Made by contact, as men get meazles. <x> So Cardinals, they say, do grope At th' other end the new-made Pope. 1250 Hold, hold, quoth HUDIBRAS; soft fire, They say, does make sweet malt. Good Squire, Festina lente, not too fast; For haste (the proverb says) makes waste. The quirks and cavils thou dost make 1255 Are false, and built upon mistake: And I shall bring you, with your pack Of fallacies, t' elenchi back; And put your arguments in mood And figure to be understood. 1260 I'll force you, by right ratiocination, To leave your <y> vitilitigation, And make you keep to th' question close, And argue dialecticos. The question then, to state it first, 1265 Is, Which is better, or which worst, Synods or Bears? Bears I avow To be the worst, and Synods thou. But, to make good th' assertion, Thou say'st th' are really all one. 1270 If so, not worst; for if th' are idem Why then, tantundem dat tantidem. For if they are the same, by course, Neither is better, neither worse. But I deny they are the same, 1275 More than a maggot and I am. That both are animalia I grant, but not rationalia: For though they do agree in kind, Specific difference we find; 1280 And can no more make bears of these, Than prove my horse is SOCRATES. That Synods are bear-gardens too, Thou dost affirm; but I say no: And thus I prove it in a word; 1285 Whats'ver assembly's not impow'r'd To censure, curse, absolve, and ordain, Can be no Synod: but bear-garden Has no such pow'r; ergo, 'tis none: And so thy sophistry's o'erthrown. 1290