Even in repeating stories, whence we can see no ill consequences
to result, the giving one’s authors is regarded as a piece of
indiscretion, if not of immorality. These stories, in passing from hand
to hand and receiving all the usual variations, frequently come about
to the persons concerned and produce animosities and quarrels among
people whose intentions are the most innocent and inoffensive.
To pry into secrets, to open or even read the letters of others, to
play the spy upon their words and looks and actions—what habits more
inconvenient in society? what habits, of consequence, more blameable?
This principle is also the foundation of most of the laws of good
manners, a kind of lesser morality calculated for the ease of company
and conversation. Too much or too little ceremony are both blamed,
and everything which promotes ease without an indecent familiarity is
useful and laudable.
Constancy in friendships, attachments, and intimacies is
commonly very commendable, and is requisite to support trust and
good correspondence in society. But in places of general though
casual concourse, where the pursuit of health and pleasure brings
people promiscuously together, public conveniency has dispensed with
this maxim, and custom there promotes an unreserved conversation for
the time by indulging the privilege of dropping afterwards every
indifferent acquaintance without breach of civility or good manners.
Even in societies which are established on principles the most immoral
and the most destructive to the interests of the general society there
are required certain rules which a species of false honour as well as
private interest engages the members to observe. Robbers and pirates,
it has often been remarked, could not maintain their pernicious
confederacy did they not establish a new distributive justice among
themselves and recall those laws of equity which they have violated
with the rest of mankind.
“I hate a drinking companion,” says the Greek proverb, “who never
forgets.” The follies of the last debauch should be buried in eternal
oblivion, in order to give full scope to the follies of the next.
Among nations where an immoral gallantry, if covered with a thin veil
of mystery, is in some degree authorized by custom, there immediately
arise a set of rules calculated for the conveniency of that attachment.
The famous court or parliament of love in Provence decided formerly all
difficult cases of this nature.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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