Humoresque: A Laugh on Life with a Tear Behind ItHurst, Fannie
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Humoresque: A Laugh on Life with a Tear Behind It
Hurst, Fannie
Fiction; Short stories, American
"Jas--for God's sakes--no--no!"
"Gimme! By God! you hear--gimme!" There was a wrenching movement of his
body, a fumbling beneath the pillow, and Mr. Jastrow suddenly held
forth, in crouched attitude of cunning, something cold, something
glittering, something steel.
"Now," he said, head jutting forward, and through shut teeth--"now
gimme, or by God--"
"Jas--Jas--for God's sake have you gone crazy? Where'd you get that gun?
Is that where I heard you sneaking this morning--over to my trunk for my
watch-dog? Gimme that gun--Jas! You--you're crazy--Jas!"
"You gimme, was what I said, and gimme quick! You see this thing
pointing? Well, gimme quick."
"Jas--"
"Don't 'Jas' me. I'm ugly this time, and when I'm ugly _I'm ugly!_"
"All right! All right! Only, for God's sakes, Jas, don't get out of bed,
don't get crazy enough to shoot that thing. I'll get it. Wait, Jastrow;
it's all right, you're all right. I'll get it. See, Teenie's going.
Wait--wait--Teenie's going--"
She edged out and she edged in, hysteria audible in her breathing.
"Jas honey, won't you please--"
"Gimme, was what I said--gimme and quick!"
Her arm under his head, the glass tilted high against his teeth, he
drank deeply, gratefully, breathing out finally and lying back against
his pillow, his right hand uncurling of its clutch.
She lifted the short-snouted, wide-barreled, and steely object off the
bed-edge gingerly, tremblingly.
"More like it," he said, running his tongue around his mouth; "more like
it."
"Jas--Jas, what have you done?"
"Great stuff! Great stuff!" He kept repeating.
"If--if you wasn't so sick, honey--I don't know what I'd do after such a
terrible thing like this--you acting like this--so terrible--God! I--I'm
all trembling."
"Great stuff!" he said, and reaching out and eyes still closed, patting
her. "Great stuff, nice old Big Tent!"
"Try to sleep now, Jas. You musta had a spell of craziness! This is
awful! Try to sleep. If only you don't get a spell--Sleep--please!"
"You wait! Guy with the collar on wrong side round--he's the one; he's
the one!"
"Yes--yes, honey. Try to sleep!"
"I wanna dream I'm Rockefeller. If there's one thing I want to dream,
it's Rockefeller."
"Not now--not now--"
"Lemme go to sleep like a king."
"Yes, honey."
"Like a king," I said.
She slid her hand finally into one of the voluminous folds of her
dress, withdrawing and placing a rubber-bound roll into his hands.
"There, honey. Go to sleep now--like a king."
He fingered it, finally sitting up to count, leaning forward to the ring
of lamplight.
"Six hundred bucks! Six hundred! Wow--oh, wow! If Sid could only see me
now!"
"He can, honey--he can. Go to sleep. 'Sh-h-h-h!'"
"Slide 'em under--slide 'em under--Rockefeller."
She lifted his head, placing the small wad beneath. He turned over,
cupping his hand in his cheek, breathing outward deeply, very deeply.
"Jas!"
"Huh?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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