Humoresque: A Laugh on Life with a Tear Behind ItHurst, Fannie
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Humoresque: A Laugh on Life with a Tear Behind It
Hurst, Fannie
Fiction; Short stories, American
"Say, Herman, enough is enough! You'll have her here at the table next.
It's like Al Suss always says, the reason he woke up one morning and
found himself married to the first pony in the sextet was because he
stuck a stamp upside down on a letter to her and found he could be held
for a proposal in stamp language."
To a great flare of the Negroid music, the row of twenty-four suddenly
turned turtle, and prone on a strip of rug, heads to audience and faces
to ceiling, twenty-four pairs of legs, ankleted in bells, kicked up a
syncopated melody. From a Niagara of lace, insteps quivered an arpeggio.
A chromatic scale bounced off a row of rapidly pointing toes. The third
from the end, seized with sudden chill, quivered into grace notes,
small pink feet kicking violently to the chandelier.
Men red with laughter pounded their plates. The rhythmic convulsion
passed down the prostrate line, forty-eight little feet twinkled a grand
finale, and the curtains swung, then opened, remaining so.
The line of twenty-four danced down and across the wide hair-line that
separates life and stage, butterflies sipping from table to table. The
cabaret was done. Lights resumed, and the business of food and drink.
Mr. Loeb flung out an arm, pulling awry a carefully averted pink sash.
"Say, little Jingle Bells, you and your friend!"
"Cut it out, Herm! If we want to be down on Cedar Street by--"
"What's your hurry, little one?"
"It ain't mine; it belongs to the management."
"Won't you join us?"
"Herm, that job-lot of sweaters--"
"Oh, come on, little Jingle Bells!"
"My friend, too?"
"Sure your friend."
They teetered, the two of them like animated dolls, arm in arm, and so
at ease.
"Here, you little Black Curls, sit next to me, and you, Blondey, over
there by my brother-in-law."
"What'll you have, girls?"
"Anchovies and fine-chopped onions for mine. Tell 'em in the kitchen,
waiter, I said _fine_, and if the gentlemen are going to order wine,
bring me a plate of oyster crackers first to take off the edge of my
emptiness."
"Sure, another bottle of wine, waiter."
"Hermie, we--"
"And you, little Jingle Bells, same as Blondey's order?"
"Yeh."
"Say, you know what?"
"No. What?"
"I fell for those bouncing black curls of yours before I was in the
place five minutes."
At that there was an incredible flow of baby talk.
"Gemmemen ike ikkie gurl wiz naughty-naughty black curl-curlies?"
"You bet your life I do," said Mr. Loeb, unashamed of comprehension.
Mr. Kahn flashed another look at his watch.
"Say, don't you know, you girls oughtn't to keep us boys up so late.
Ain't there no wear out to you?"
The yellow curls to his right bounced sharply.
"He asks if there's a wear out to us, Cleone? I wish it to you this
minute, Baldy, that you had the muscles in the back of my legs. I guess
you think it's choice for us girls to come out on the floor after
the show!"
"Sylvette!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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