[77.] _Tarlton_, (as other Gentlemen used) at the first comming up of Tabacco, did take it more for fashion's sake than otherwise, & being in a roome, set between two Men overcome with Wine, and they never seeing the like, wondred at it; and seeing the vapour come out of _Tarlton's_ nose, cryed out Fire, fire, and then threw a Cup of Wine in _Tarlton's_ face. Make no more stirre, quoth Tarlton, the fire is quenched: if the Sheriffes come, it will turne to a fine, as the Custome is. And drinking that againe, Fie, sayes the other, what a stinke it makes, I am almost poisoned. If it offend, saies _Tarlton_, let's every one take a little of the smell, and so the savour will quickly goe: but Tobacco whiffes made them leave him to pay all. _Dick_ had but two words to maintain him ever, [5.] And that was, Stand; and, after, stand--Deliver. But _Dick's_ in Newgate, and he fears shall never Be blest again with that sweet word, Deliver. A tall Man void of wit, [12.] We may compare him fit To a House six Stories high at least; Where commonly we see That the upper Rooms be Worst furnish'd than any of the rest. [78.] One hearing a Usurer say he had been on the pike of _Teneriff_ (which is supposed to be one of the highest hils in the worlde) asked him why he had not stay'd there, for he was perswaded hee would never come so neere heaven againe. [32.] I consume my mother that bare me, I eat my nurse that fed me, then I dye leaving all blind that saw me. _Solution._ Meant of the flame of a Candle, which having consumed both wax and weeke, goeth out leaving them in the dark that saw by it. The following shows the extent to which political satire can be carried, and its wit and rarity must be my apology for introducing it:-- The PARLIAMENTS X _Commandements_ [79.] 1. Thou shalt have no other Gods but the LORDS and COMMONS assembled at Westminster. 2. Thou shalt not make any Addresses to the King, nor yeeld obedience to any of his Commands; neither shalt thou weare any Image either of him or his Posterity; thou shalt not bow down unto him, nor Worship him, for Wee are jealous Gods, and will visite such sinnes unto the third and fourth Generation of them that hate us, and will not observe our Votes, Orders, and Ordinances. 3. Thou shalt not take the Names of Us, your GODS in vaine, for we cannot hold you guiltlesse that take our Names in vaine. 4. Remember that thou keep holy the Fast Day, for that is Our Sabbath; in it thou shalt doe no manner of Work, for we have blessed that Day, and hallowed it. 5. Thou shalt neither yeeld Honor nor Obedience to the King (thy Countries Father) or thy Naturall Father or Mother, so Wee will make thy dayes long in the lands which we shall take from the ungodly and wicked ones, to bestow upon thee. 6. Thou shalt Remove the Wicked One from his Throne, and his Posterity from off the face of the Earth.