[61.] A little crooked Gentleman had lately taken a very fair house to dwell in, and having nobly furnished it, he invites a friend of his who was a very merry man to see it, and to judge of his bargaine: the Gentleman asked him what rent he paid? The Crooked man answered him, that he gave an hundred pounds for a fine, and fifty pounds a year. Quoth his friend, I do not like your bargain. No! quoth the crooked Man, I am told that it is a very good penny worth. I am not of their mind, replyed his friend, for would any man be so mad to give fifty pounds a year for a house, that he cannot stand upright in. So they both laught, and went to dinner. Mistris _Marina_ 'mongst some gossips sate, [5.] Where faces were the Subject of their Chat; Some look'd too pale, some seem'd too fiery red, Some brown, some black, and some ill fashioned. Good Lord (quoth she) you all are much to blame, Let's alone, and praise the maker of the same: Her Chamber maid, who heard her, standing by, Said, then love me, for that you know was I. [82.] Myselfe caried an old fellow by water, that had wealth enough to be Deputy of the Ward, and wit sufficient for a Scavenger; the water being somewhat rough, hee was much afraid, and (in stead of saying his prayers) he threatened me, that if I did drowne him, hee would spend a hundred pound, but hee would see me hanged for it; I desired him to be quiet and feare nothing, and so in little space I landed him at the Beares Colledge on the Bank-side,[F. 134] (alias Paris Garden.) Well (said he) I am glad I am off the water, for if the Boat had miscarried, I could have swum no more than a Goose. [Footnote 134: Paris Garden, Southwark, was a famous place for bear-baiting and other sports.] One Goodman _Strong_ [12.] Said his Wife did long, And what was it for but Mackrill? But he told him no, It must not be so, She's well now, and that will make her ill. [17.] There were three Brothers named _Buck_, and having venison, made three Pasties; and one of those who were invited was nam'd _Cooke_, and thinking to play upon the Brothers, said, Here is _Buck_, _Buck_, _Buck_. True, says one of the Brothers, _Buck_ is good meat, but what says the Proverb; _God sends meat, and the Devil sends Cooks_. [4.] A Fool being very sick, and like to dye, one that went to see him, went to comfort him, bidding him Chear up. _For if you dye_, says he, _four proper Fellows shall carry you to Church_: _Ay but_, quoth he, _I had rather by half go thither myself_. THE WELSHMAN'S PRAISE OF WALES.