[77.] _Tarlton_ having been domineering[F. 146] very late one night, with two of his friends, and comming homewards along Cheapeside, the Watch being then set, Master Constable asked, Who goes there? Three merry men, quoth _Tarlton_. That is not sufficient, What are you? quod M. Constable. Why, saies _Tarlton_, one of us is an eye maker, and the other a light maker. What saiest thou, knave, doest mocke me? the one is an eye maker, the other a light maker, which two properties belong unto God onely: commit these blasphemers, quoth the Constable. Nay, I pray you, good M. Constable, be good in your Office, I will approve what I have said to be true, qd. _Tarlton_. If thou canst, saies the Constable, you shall passe, otherwise you shall be all three punished. Why (qd. _Tarlton_) this fellow is an eye maker, because a Spectacle maker, and this other a maker of light, because a Chandler, that makes your darkest night as light as your Lanthorn. The Constable, seeing them so pleasant, was well contented. The rest of the Watchmen laughed: & Tarlton with his two Companions went home quietly. [Footnote 146: Roystering.] [78.] One perswaded his friend to marry a little woman because of evils the least was to be chosen. [26.] A crafty Fellow being extremely in debt, and being threatened by his Creditors, that they would have him, if he was above ground, got himself into a Cellar, and there lay with the Tapster; and being reproved for so doing, he told them there's no fear of catching him there, because 'twas underground, and they durst not break their Oaths, because they swore they would have him above Ground. THE UNFORTUNATE FENCER;[F. 147] or _The Couragious Farmer of_ Gloucester-shire shewing How this huffing Spark went down into those Parts, Challenging any one at all sorts of Weapons; and at length (was) shamefully Conquer'd by a Country Farmer. To the Tune of _The Spinning Wheel_. Licensed according to Order. You that delight in merriment, [88.] be pleased attend a while, I hope to give you all content, this very Song will make you smile; 'Tis of a Fencer brave and bold, adorn'd with rich embroider'd Gold. This Spark in pomp, and rich array, from _London_ rid with right good will, That he young Lords might learn to play all sorts of Weapons by his skill; And whereso e'er this Fencer came, the drum, and trumpet blaz'd his fame. This huffing Fencer, fierce and Stout, to _Gloucester_ City did repair, And for a Sign he then hung out a Sword of grand Defiance there; The which a Farmer did espy, as he by Chance was passing by. The jolly Farmer brisk and bold, as soon as he the Sword beheld, He cry'd what is there to be sold? what! is your Room with Rapiers fill'd? The Valiant Fencer did reply I come my Valour here to try. [Illustration]