[77.] Upon a time, as _Tarlton_ and his Wife (as passengers) came sailing from Southampton towards London, a mighty storme arose, and endangered the Ship, whereupon, the Captaine thereof charged every man to throw into the Sea the heaviest thing he could best spare, to the end to lighten somewhat the Ship. _Tarlton_, that had his Wife there, offered to throw her over-boord: but the company rescued her; and being asked wherefore he meant so to doe? he answerd, She is the heaviest thing I have, and I can best spare her. [4.] A _Welshman_ that was condemned to be hanged, had the benefit[F. 154] of Clergy granted to him, and so was burnt in the Hand; which when it was doing, they bid him say. God bless the King. Nay, says he, God bless hur Father and Mother; for if they had not taught hur to read, hur might have been hanged for all the King. [Footnote 154: This plea was put in for mitigation of punishment, the person presumably being a clerk or learned person, exemplified by his being able to read, the punishment then being commuted to burning on the hand. In later days it became a farce, as a bribe would have the effect of being apparently branded with only a warm or cold iron.] [4.] One asking a certain Person how his friend came off at the Sessions House? he told him he was to be Burnt in the Hand; Pish, says the other, that's a small matter; for, for a little Fee, the'll Burn him in the Hand with a cold Iron. Marriage as old men note, hath likened bin [5.] Unto a publique feast, or common route, Where those that are without, would fain get in, And those that are within would faine get out. [26.] A Gentleman that had a great Wit, and well belov'd among the great ones, and therefore invited often amongst them; but it seems had a very sore Leg; he, being at a Noble mans Table, greedily cat'd at a Goblet of Wine. Says my Lord to him, Prithee _Jack_ drink it not, for 'twill hurt thy Leg. O my Lord, says he, take no care for my Leg, for I have care enough of that, for I always drink o' the t' other side. The Cruell Shrow:[F. 155] or The Patient Mans Woe Declaring the misery, and the great paine By his unquiet wife he doth dayly sustaine. To the Tune of _Cuckolds all arowe_. [Illustration] Come Batchelors and Married Men, [90.] and listen to my Song; And I will shew you plainely then, the injury and wrong That constantly I doe sustaine, by the unhappy life, The which does put me to great paine, by my unquiet Wife. Shee never linnes[F. 156] her bauling, her tongue it so loud, But alwaies shee'l be railing, and will not be contrould; For she the Briches still will weare, although it breedes my strife, If I were now a Batchelor, I'de never have a Wife.